Page 8 of Sinner's Vow

Along came Owen, who was the perfect fit.

He’s blended into this crazy life with ease and humility, handling it better than just about any other person in the world could.

“So, what’s the plan?” Tyler asks. “You two just play happy husband and wife for the crowd?”

“And we file for divorce when we get back to the states,” I say quietly, even as my stomach rolls. The word feels like poison. It feels disgusting and offensive.

As I look down the aisle at Kennedy, I hate myself for doing this to her. Married to an asshole who doesn’t remember their wedding day for three months, and then dropped like nothing ever happened.

“You really wouldn’t prefer a white dress?”a voice in the back of my head echoes. And I see a flash of Kennedy looking up at me, a smile on her bright face.

“Kennedy, I want you exactly as you are right now,”I said. Inside, I felt like I was overflowing with happiness. I was so full of it, I almost felt like I could cry. “But I promise. We’ll get you a white dress. Soon. After the tour. And we’ll have a big party, and everyone we love can be a part of it.”

Kennedy leaned forward, wrapping a hand behind my neck, and pulled my lips to hers. “You’re perfect, Noah.”

I blink hard and my hand rises to my chest. It’s filled with that happiness but tainted by everything that’s happened today, tainted by guilt and self-hatred.

A wedding. I promised Kennedy a real wedding when we get home from the tour.

Instead, I’m giving her a divorce.

“What’s going on with you lately?” Tyler asks and he shakes his head. “You’ve been in self-destruct mode since we started recording. What the hell is going on?”

I swallow once as I look away from my brother.

“I’ve been a mess ever since.”

I’m sitting at a bar and everything in me feels tight. I feel like I’m suffocating. But it gets better with every word I speak. And the fire-haired angel to my right listens to every single confession without the least bit of judgment on her face.

“We’re all made of glass,”she said. “Most of us never get put back together the same way.”

I suck in a deep breath and once again, my eyes rise up to Kennedy.

What did I tell her?

And why doesn’t she seem to hate me?

“I’m just trying to deal with shit,” I answer my brother absentmindedly. “I’m just trying to deal with it the best way I know how.”

“We’re worried about you,” Gabriel says as he lays a hand on my shoulder. “I know we’ve all been distracted lately, but I want you to know that. We’re here for you. Whatever is going on.”

I lay my hand over my best friends. I know this. I know that he would listen.

But the tar-covered secrets inside of me don’t affect just me.

“Thank you,” I say. “I know I’ve been a mess. I owe you guys better. I’m going to try and be better, ‘k?”

I don’t know that they believe me, but I get three nods and each of them goes back to their own thing.

I have the sinking feeling in my stomach that I’m making promises I can’t keep.

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