Page 52 of Look, Don't Touch

I’ve never been one to embarrass myself intentionally. Not many people will. Yet night after night, morning after morning, evening after evening, I log onto Crave and flash my soul green. I stare at his black dot for hours upon hours. I dismiss approvals from all my available options, except the one I want.

This is the woman I’ve become.

“I’ve never known you to hang around past five o’clock before.” I grin.

To Astor, I admitted to casually checking the app to see if he was available a couple of times. Of course, I minimized my new obsession. Rejection is no fun and certainly not worth toasting.

I’m beginning to think next time won’t come. I wonder if he left that message to let me down easily because my request scared the piss out of him.

“Honestly, I usually wouldn’t, but your last appointment pushed back.” She shrugs innocently, and I pin her with a look.

“And?”

“And he’s a downright treat for the eyes.” She braces both hands on my desk and leans over, which pulps her pretty breasts until they practically spill out of her deep V-cut blouse. “In case you haven’t noticed.”

I don’t take the bait. Instead, I put my phone face down on my desk, then turn away from her and her stunning body. The ugly feelings return, only this time for another man. Sticky jealousy. Heavy rage. It’s my aunt, for heaven’s sake. And, more importantly, he’s my patient. After a few deep breaths, they recede enough that I continue working on patient notes.

“You know who he is, right?” She doesn’t wait for me to respond. ’Cause if she did, she’d be waiting a long time. “He’s the son of the former director of the Guggenheim and the former CEO of World Bank. His poor family?—”

“I know.” I cut her off, not wanting to hear the horror story again.

“Well, did you know that despite that generational wealth, he’s a self-made man?”

I relent and look at her.

Her famous mouth parts in a triumphant grin. “Yes, ma’am.” A hint of her twang comes out with that. “His grubby uncle found a loophole and stole his inheritance out from under him. Then the bastard lost it all in shitty investments.”

I hadn’t known that.

Now I’m irritated with myself for letting her go on about him. These are things I shouldn’t know. Things that he should talk about in his own time, whenever that may be.

She opens her mouth to say more, but I stop her with a shake of my head. “Please, go. Just leave the door to my office open. He can see himself in.”

I want her gone to get my head in order. Now that Friday has rolled around, I have this impending feeling of doom. Like this is my last chance to see option one and I have an uneasy feeling it won’t happen. Like Mr. Judge pushing our meeting back an hour is a sign that I won’t be able to make amends for crossing the line with him.

I’m frantic and trying my best to hide it.

“Fine.” She straightens. “My gardening club is meeting at seven thirty anyway. If I leave now, I’ll have time for a blowout.”

“Tell Raphael hello for me.”

Her arms cross over her chest. “It wouldn’t kill you, you know.”

“I don’t know what you’re talking about.”

“To notice how gorgeous Arlo Judge is.”

Oh, I’ve noticed. And it’s definitely to my detriment.

“Bye, Nat.” I face my computer and listen to her retreat.

“You know I love you and only want what’s best for you, right?” When I finally turn back, Nat is holding the doorframe. Her sweet smile tightens my chest.

“I know.” I offer her as much of a grin as I can muster. “I’m pretty sure losing my license to practice isn’t it, though.”

“You could stop seeing him as a patient.”

“He needs help, Natalia.”

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