Page 107 of Look, Don't Touch

“Yes, ma’am.” I bat my eyes demurely, prop onto my knees, and give her my palms up on my thighs like a good little submissive.

“Stop that!” She shoves my salad across the coffee table, and I have to shift to stop it from tumbling off.

“Getting you all hot and bothered?” My brows waggle.

“Yeah, and not in the way you’re thinking.” She gives a hostile squint. “In the murdery way.”

“Well.” I undo the top from my biodegradable bowl. “I’m pretty sure we can rule out dominant on your list of proclivities.” When I look at Astor, her jaw is hanging. “What? I knew you weren’t a Domme. It’s not a shock.”

“But what I said and your absence of reaction to it is.”

I replay our conversation, and I’m stunned too.

“I shouldn't have said that.” My friend’s lips are pulled down at the corners.

“Yes, you should have. It was a joke. By now, I should be able to take a joke completely unrelated to my past.”

“You did,” Astor points out.

“I did.” I smile up at her. “I guess I have more important things on my mind. Like my bestie finally letting her freak flag fly.”

She sits, pops the top on her salad, and waves her fork at me, less threatening this time. “And that you’re in love.”

I sigh—like an audible, totally smitten, lost-her-mind sigh—and collapse back against the front of the couch.

“Oh my God, mark this date in the history books.” Astor beams at me. She shoves her salad to the side and leans her forearms on the top of the coffee table. “Tell me everything.”

“Haven’t I already? I had therapy yesterday.”

“Yes, you did, yet you didn’t mention anything about love, Hailey.” The balls of her cheeks go red with her smile. “You’ve told me the day-to-day details, which are shocking enough. I mean, I never thought I’d see the day you slept over at a guy’s house or had one sleep over at yours, and it’s been the norm for a week and a freaking half.” Her voice pitches. “Does it get any cuter than running errands together and cooking, snuggling, and staring at the stars on his rooftop freaking garden?”

My insides go mushy.

The last week and a half have been the literal best of my life, and it’s no exaggeration. We haven’t done anything extravagant or earth-shattering, yet it’s shifted the topography of the ground I stand upon. He has changed my actual foundation. I’ve changed his too.

Both for the better.

“Not really,” I admit.

“I know.” Astor clutches her chest. “I want to know how you feel about all this. How does he make you feel?”

“He scares me. Well, not him. The thought of being so attached to someone, so vulnerable. It terrifies me. But him.” Gag me, I sigh again. I’ve become my worst nightmare. I’m someone in love. “He makes me feel safe and cared for. Desired and damn giddy. If we’re not together, I’m constantly wondering what and how he’s doing.”

I force myself to stab a bite of salad and chew to keep from gushing for just a second. Astoroid Belt doesn’t bother with her dinner. She’s perched on her knees across from me, waiting.

“I was glad that he had to travel for work. I thought it would give me time to regroup and get my head on straight, hang out with my best friend, and just breathe, but…”

“But?”

“I’m not doing a very good job of detaching or regrouping. My guts are all twisted over this man. I miss him.”

“Oh my Goooooooood.” Astor belts the word God like she’s a professional opera singer.

“Don’t go hitting the high notes.” I hold up a hand. “I’m terrified.”

My friend sobers. She reaches across the table and grabs my hand. “Fear can’t kill you, Hailey. Inaction can. Don’t let fear dictate your life anymore. It doesn’t deserve to hold you back.”

“Same goes for you, kink baby.”

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