Page 50 of Look, Don't Touch

I lost my fucking mind.

Using the envelope, I tick off one finger at a time. “First, I lost my shit because he took unusually long to come into the room. The blindfold started to feel claustrophobic again, which, as you know, is a new development.”

“What’d you do?”

“I ripped my clothes off and tossed them around the room like a maniac.” I tick another finger off. “Then I let him tie me to the bed?—”

“Not the bench?”

“You’re as shocked as I am.”

“Face up,” I add. Astor makes a gargled sound but muffles it with her hand. “Then I came, multiple times, facing him.”

“Hailey?” she breathes.

I hold up my hand. “It gets worse.” I draw a deep breath and let it out slowly. I can still feel his hands on my breasts. His heat so close. His weight hanging on the precipice of my body. “I asked him to take off my blindfold.”

“You mean better?” she corrects.

I blow a heavy breath through my lips and shrug.

“What made that night so different?”

“I don’t know.” Yes, I do. “He was different. For more than a year, it’s been the same. I’m strapped in by my concierge. Then I’m pleasured, fucked, left. It took a long time for me to care who was doing the pleasuring, fucking, and leaving.”

And now it matters too much.

“Last time I was with him, he pushed his boundaries. He asked that I be standing. He undressed me, mostly. He strapped me in. He fucked me harder than ever before.”

“Whew!” Astor fans herself with a notepad.

“This time…” I remember his words, whispered, and somehow so familiar. They were soothing in a way that I’ve never known.

“Yes?” she prompts.

“He was himself, but so different too. He was so open, talking and touching me in ways he never has.” I cover my chest, where he’d touched me, though I can’t feel my skin through all the layers. “And I responded in a way I never have.”

“How so?”

“It was the best sex of my life and he didn’t even put his fat cock in me.”

“Jeeezus, Hail.”

“Mary and Joseph too,” I agree. “Have you ever had a nipple orgasm?”

Astor’s notepad fan stops moving. “Is that even possible?”

“Yes, though I’d never had one until Friday night.”

The notepad hits the coffee table with an unholy smack. My gaze finds Astor, and her mouth hangs agog. “I know."

“Would you mind terribly if I find this man and marry him?”

Intellectually, I know she’s joking, yet a dark, devilish energy washes over me. It’s heavy and rage-filled. It’s jealousy. It’s possession.

“Whoa!” Both her hands shoot up. “I was just kidding, Hail. He’s all yours.” Her pretty Afro shakes. “I can’t do the sub thing. I like being on top too much.” She winks.

“I don’t even know this man.”

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