Page 132 of Look, Don't Touch

His scent fills my nose. His weight and breadth fill all my empty crevasses. His kiss mends my broken heart. He feels so good in my arms; I don’t know how I’ll ever let him go.

I cling to him as though the world is going to split in two between our knees, and we have to hold it together to survive.

“I’m sorry, Hailey.” He kisses my head. “I’m sorry I made you afraid of me.” His heart beats wildly against mine as though he ran too.

My head shakes against his chest.

“You have nothing to be sorry for. You did nothing wrong.” I speak into his neck, unwilling to separate us even to see his face. “You were protecting me.”

His big hand stills my head. “No, if I had been protecting you, you wouldn’t have been on the ground, getting sick.”

“That’s my hang-up, Arlo. It’s not your fault.”

“My hang-up is that I took it too far.”

“That bastard deserves a broken jaw.”

“You don’t deserve to see it.” He kisses my brows and slowly pries my fingers from his back, easing his lips down my face.

I push away before he gets to my lips. If he kisses me, truly kisses me, there’s no way I can do what I have to.

His brows flatten. “If I’m so contrite and you’re so forgiving, why haven’t you let me see you?”

I hold his hands to my cheeks and draw a deep breath.

“I know you think I’m not broken, but the gala proved you wrong.” I place my fingers over his lips to keep him from speaking. “It was nothing more than an upscale bar brawl, something people encounter weekly through college, and I could not function at the sight of it.”

He kisses my finger. “You are not broken. You just have triggers that most people don’t.” Again, he kisses my finger. “I have triggers other people don’t. I freaked out and threw myself across the garage when you touched my head. It doesn’t mean that I’m broken. It means I need someone who understands it’s not something they did wrong. It’s about working through my shit.” He presses his lips to mine with my finger between us.

“Hailey,” he begs, “let me be here while you work through your shit.”

“What if…one day, you love me?—”

“I love you.”

I blink at him.

“I love you, Hailey.”

“No!” Tears flood my eyes.

“Yes, I do. And I promise never to use it against you.”

I’ve loved Arlo for a long time. I’ve never told him because of all my fears. “What if I never return that love?”

“You’re under no obligation.” He levers me back and makes me look into his ocean-deep eyes. “If you don’t feel the same way, if you never do, then I’ll still love you.”

“But—”

“But nothing. I’ll go about my life as I have for the last several decades and won’t burden you with my feelings.” He shrugs. “That’s what real love is. It’s what’s best for the person you love.”

My heart nearly implodes in my chest. My cheeks heat, and I’m sure he can see that I love him in my eyes. “What if I did love you, and then later, I didn’t?”

“Same rules apply.”

“What if I did love you, but I slept with someone else? Like my mother did.”

He releases me, and his hands go up.

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