Page 47 of Daydream

“I always want to and I always will, but I have to be honest, sometimes I don’t know I should. I need you to talk to me if you feel like I’m not stepping up, because I will. I’ll do anything for you, Halle. I just don’t always know it because sometimes that isn’t how I think. I get wrapped up in things and then I don’t focuson the outside things I want to focus on. You are a high priority to me.”

“This was a really deep conversation to have while simultaneously feeling like I might throw up at any moment. Maybe I am dramatic,” she says as she rests her head against me again. I don’t think she needs me to confirm to her that she is. I’m willing to give her a pass because being hungover clearly isn’t for her. I listen to the pattern of her breathing while twirling a piece of her hair between my fingers. “How did you know to look for me here?”

“Aurora was worried about you because you didn’t show up for class. Some people had their drinks spiked last night and she panicked when she couldn’t reach you. I should text her.”

“I don’t know where my cell phone is. I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to frighten anyone. That’s so scary.” I don’t tell her about Poppy because I’m not sure if I’m supposed to, and I don’t want to make her cry again. “Let her know I’m okay, please.”

Pulling out my cell phone, I bring up Aurora’s name.

AURORA

She’s fine. Just hungover.

Omg. I can stop stressing now. Tell her she can have my notes

Thanks Prince Charming

Need to talk to you about an Ethan thing later. Don’t know how to bring it up with Russ.

??

Yeah.

Russ already knows. It blew up after you left last night.

He’d suspected something was up since summer so it wasn’t a surprise

Will talk to you about it later. I’m meeting my professor now

“Why do you have over four hundred unread messages? Do you not have, like, intense anxiety when you don’t open your messages, or is that just me?”

“It’s just you. It’s mainly group chats, Kenny’s offers, and women looking to hook up late at night when they’re bored and horny. Nothing important.”

She scoffs. “Yeah, my messages are definitely the same.”

I sit up a little straighter. “People looking to hook up?”

“Tons of them. It’s always the bored and the horny. My inbox is actually overflowing with that particular type of message. What an inconvenience, amiright?”

“Guys I know?” I think she’s kidding. Emphasis on think.

She gives me a pointed look, but I don’t know what it means. “Be serious. Literally nobody is texting me to hook up.”

I feel relieved and I’m not sure why. I know I’m not supposed to feel relieved considering she’s just a friend. “Is that something you want? That experience?”

“It depends what you’re asking. There’s a lot of things I’ll do for the writing competition, but hooking up with someone random for more inspiration isn’t one of them. But would I like the experience of hooking up with someone I care about? Yeah.”

“That makes sense.”

It’s a natural end to the conversation. Halle is still curled up on my lap, and any sign she’s attempting to move makes me hold her that much tighter until she relaxes again. Joy joined the equation, taking her place on Halle’s lap, and the whole image is unusually domestic for me. I like how calm I feel, and it’s making me consider skipping my afternoon classes and staying here. Well, until I remember that I’d have to face Faulkner if I did.

“I need to google why being around you makes me want to fall asleep,” she says after a long stretch of quiet.

“Oxytocin.”

“I don’t know what that is.”

“Neither do I. I was googling why I couldn’t fall asleep as well as I do when you’re there, but I got distracted by a pregnancy pillow ad. It arrives on Monday.”

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