Page 29 of Daydream

“Tell me.”

“When Will broke up with me, I promised myself I was going to do things for myself. This writing competition was supposed to be that thing, and I was so excited. And I feel like a broken record, but I’m not getting anywhere with it, and it’s making me frustrated. Because all I’ve ever wanted to do is write books, and I can’t even do something for an amateur competition.

“I’m going around in circles and then my stepsister calls because she’s had a fight with my mom, then my mom calls to tell me her side of it, then my youngest sister calls because she’s upset that everyone is fighting. When I’m finally done being mediator, I can’t remember what plot idea I was developing in the first place. Not that it matters, because it’s all weak and it’s impossible to make strong because the ideas aren’t the problem,I’mthe problem.”

She looks like she’s about to burst into tears and is doing everything to hold it in. I hate it. “How are you the problem?”

Five words that cause her face to sink. “Because I haven’t lived, Henry.”

“Oh.”

“I want to write about a relationship and experiences that I’ve never had and itshows. I have these moments of clarity and it’s like the sun finally poking through the clouds after a storm, and I feel unstoppable. I write something, then I get to something simple that shouldn’t be hard and it’s like I don’t even speak English anymore and I delete it all. I stare at my screen andnothinghappens becausenothinghappens in my life.”

Experiences. Halle talked about having the experience when Iinterrupted her with Mason, but I didn’t think much of it. “But Will…”

She huffs and I regret saying his name instantly. “Our relationship made sense on paper but not in reality. I was never in love with him. We didn’t even go on a date in the whole year we were together. We just hung out with his friends or our families. Our relationship changed in title, but it never felt like anything progressed romantically.”

“I’ll take you on a date.”

“Henry, no,” she says, panic seeping into her voice. “I wasn’t hinting that I wanted you to take me on a date. I was just venting, ignore me. I’ll get through it! Honestly, it’s totally fine.”

“Let me take you on a date. You need the experience to write it in your book, right?” I say calmly. “Let me help.”

“I can’t ask that of you,” she says quietly.

“Technically I’m asking,” I argue. “You want experiences, and I want to pass Thornton’s class, so let’s help each other. I don’t want to take advantage of your kindness, Halle. Let’s make things even.”

“You’re not taking advantage. I like helping you,” she argues back.

“And I’m going to like taking you on a date.” I’ve been on a few dates before and I’ve never had the strong desire to go on more, but something tells me that this will be different.

The pink flush of her cheeks returns. “What will people think?”

I want to say that I’m sure my friends already have bets running on what’s happening, but I don’t, because I don’t think she’d take it very well. She feels embarrassed about the smallest things and I think that would be one of them. I’m trying really hard to think before I say something that might make her feel that way.

“I don’t care what people think. It’s none of their business.”

“But your friends—”

“Will be jealous they didn’t ask you out first.”

She chews on her lip. Thinking hard. “What if they think we’re dating?”

“Do you always worry about what other people think about things that have nothing to do with them?”

“Yeah, I sort of do, actually.”

“Is people thinking we’re dating worse than not achieving your goal?”

Her eyes widen and she shakes her head frantically. “Oh my God, I’m not worried aboutme. I’m thinking aboutyou. I don’t want to, like, I don’t know, mess things up for you. You have a lot on your plate.”

“You don’t need to worry. Go on a date with me, Halle. Live.”

Her bottom lip juts out while she considers it and I just watch her. The slow way her eyelashes brush against her skin when she blinks. How shiny her hair is when she tucks it behind her ear. Her big brown eyes staring at me. The way she’s actually smiling even as her mouth moves.Her mouth is moving. “Sorry, run that by me again.”

“I don’t want to be a burden. If you don’t have the time, we stop, promise?”

“Yes, Cap.”

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