Page 116 of Daydream

The guy behind me lunges forward but I block him from reaching Will. It’s Bobby I realize afterward. “Shut your fucking mouth, you prick,” he snarls.

Will holds up his hands defensively. “I’m just trying to say thank you for breaking her in for me. You saved me a job when we go on vacation together.”

My blood feels like it’s boiling. I don’t need to react to him. I don’t want to. Halle wouldn’t want me to. I want her parents to like me, and they won’t if I beat the crap out of Will. I can’t let the team down. I can’t let myself down.

“She’d never touch you,” I say. “Fuck off back to your own locker room. And don’t talk to me again. Don’t talk to Halle again.”

Bobby is still close behind me. I hear what sounds like Kris’s voice with him but I don’t check. Will seems like a punch-to-the-back-of-the-head kind of guy. I doubt he’d ever be able to win anything fairly.

He laughs, but even I can tell it’s forced. “I’m excited to see if she likes it rough. I bet she does, right? She’s such a fucking peoplepleaser I bet she’d do anything I asked. I’ll try to send her back to you in one piece, Turner.”

I feel sick. I don’t know how I ended up being the one holding the others back. They’re yelling at him right down my ear and I just want to be in my own locker room. There can’t be a fight on my watch. “I get it now,” I say to him calmly over the yelling.

“You get what?” he sneers.

“Why she could never love you.”

Will snaps, lunging forward for me, but I’m quicker than he is. The guys behind me rush forward, and somewhere in the chaos an elbow hits beneath my eye. It’s all over quickly as someone drags me back and someone else pulls Bobby off Will. I see Kris go for him and get yanked back. It’s all a blur. The shouting alerted Will’s team and they drag him back; looking at his split lip, I see Bobby definitely got the best of him.

The minutes that pass become an adrenaline-filled maze of people and doors. My ass hits the bench and it’s one second before my name is being screamed. Months and months of this same room and that voice shouting my name fills me with the same sickening dread.

The locker room is in chaos, but I ignore it as I walk into Faulkner’s office and shut the door behind me.

“What in the fuck just happened out there?” Faulkner yells louder than I’ve ever heard him. My ears sting and my skin feels like it tightens across my whole body. Like it’s suddenly not enough to fit me.

“A fight, Coach.”

“A fight about what?” he yells. I really wish I could ask him to stop yelling or that I had those earbuds Halle bought for me.

“I can’t tell you, Coach.” He brushes his hand over the top of his head, and I still haven’t had my answer about what he thinks he’s brushing. Now isn’t the time to ask. It’s never the time.

“You can’t tell me?” He spits out the words like they’re unrecognizable to him. “If you don’t tell me what on God’s green earth madethe captain ofmyteam get into a fight before the start of a game, then you’re not going on the fucking ice. Start explaining, Turner. Now.”

Will just said the most disgusting things about Halle and she’s going to be so embarrassed. Even though I’ll tell her she’s breaking a rule, and that she doesn’t need to be embarrassed about it, she’s going to be. Will might tell his team what he said, they might laugh about it. The thought makes me want to throw up.

I know Bobby won’t tell anyone, and neither will Kris. I don’t know who else on the team might have heard, but I trust my friends enough to know that they’re about to be told they didn’t hear shit. That there will be a problem if they utter even a syllable that sounds like what Will said. My friends are good like that; Halle’s friends are good to her.

“I can’t, Coach. I’m sorry.”

There’s only one thing I hate more than Coach Faulkner screaming at me: his silence.

I count his breaths, in and out. In and out. In and out, until he finally speaks. “There’s only one thing that’d make someone on this team act this damn foolish. Who is it?”

I clear my throat. Pointless. My mouth is dry. “It doesn’t matter who she is.”

“I’m not playing around with you here, Turner. This isn’t a fucking negotiation. I get to know what happens in my rink. You tell me. That’s the deal we agreed upon when you joined this team. You’re the captain, for Christ’s sake. I need better from you.”

It stings when all I’ve done all year is try to do my best. “You have two daughters, Coach?”

His eyes narrow at me. “You are on thin fucking ice, Turner. Thinkveryhard about what you’re about to say next.”

“Would you do something you know would hurt and embarrass them… for hockey?”

“I’m not running hypothetical situations with you. You fucked up.” He cradles his head in his hands and shakes his head so violently the desk moves. “We have a team out there that needs to go and win this game. Are you going to be honest with me or not?”

“I shouldn’t have to hurt someone I care about to prove to you I’m good enough to play on this team. It’s not what being a good leader is, Coach. If you’re going to sit me out because I was in the wrong place at the wrong time with someone looking for a fight, then fine.”

Faulkner stands from his desk, and I swear the whole room shakes. “If you’re not prepared to do things you don’t want to do, maybe we need to talk about whether you have the right attitude to be captain. Wait here. Hopefully when I come back, you’ll have come to your senses.”

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