Page 97 of Truly Madly Magically

I play up the explosion, and he plays up the cool response. The unflappable Zander who he performs for the world is a lot of who he is, out there. Here, between us, it’s also part of a mask.

One he’s been wearing for a long time while he waited for me to catch up.

He’s still not sure I have, but I am. “Tell me what hasn’t changed,” I encourage him.

“You sure you want to hear it?”

I nod. Even though something shimmers through me. Nervous energy. Fear. A million things, and yet I know I want this. I know it.

Maybe it’s always scary—no matter how much you believe in yourself—to be vulnerable enough for this.

Maybe that’s the whole point.

He smooths his hands over my hair, like this hurts. Or like he expects me to hurt him. “I’ve always loved you, El. That never changed. You know that.”

I probably should have, and maybe sometimes I did know it. But mostly...

I shake my head. “I did everything in my power to make sure you wouldn’t. That you couldn’t. I can’t imagine you were feeling loving toward me the morning after our Beltane prom.”

The old Zander would have punched a wall at me bringing that up. This one laughs, if not exactly happily. “I don’t really want to go down that memory lane again, thanks. But yes, even then. Always, Ellowyn. Isn’t that why it hurt?”

“I felt awful,” I confess. I haven’t before. “During. After.” I sigh. “Still.”

“Good,” he throws back emphatically.

I never thought I’d laugh about that mess, but something escapes me then that’s close enough to count. “You weren’t a monk.”

“Hell no, I wasn’t. But why do you think every woman after you was a human? A relationship with a human couldn’t go anywhere. I would never tell them what I was.” He shrugs like that was inevitable, not a choice. “It always felt like if I actually got involved with another witch, that would mean...”

“Mean what?”

“That there was no chance,” he says, his voice a scrape of sound in this room that now feels too small. “Ever. For us.”

He was out there preserving our last chance, and I was doing everything to destroy it. Sounds like us, but I’ve changed. He’s changed. So much around us has changed.

There’s one thing no version of me has ever done.

I curl the fingers sitting over his heart into his shirt, pulling him closer. Because I know my voice isn’t going to come out strong, no matter how strongly I feel this. The emotion is clogging my throat so much that I’m not sure I’ll be able to speak at all.

But I have to. Because I mean it with every last cell of my body. It’s the stark and simple truth and always has been. “I love you too, Zander.”

His mouth curves, his hand cupping my face. His eyes gleam, thunder and certainty, and I feel the rumble deep inside. “I know.”

This time when he kisses me it’s soft, slow.

Perfect.

A new promise amidst all sorts of old broken ones. We’ll lay it down between us tonight and build a future on all we’ve learned.

I wrap my arms around his neck and deepen the kiss.

Because this is the secret to why the sex was always amazing—no matter how angry we were with each other. Love.

It’s been love all along.

Zander pulls his mouth from mine and even tries to put some distance between us. “Baby, you’ve got to get some sleep. Those were the Healer’s orders.”

“No, Jacob said rest,” I correct him. “I happen to find sex very restorative. Don’t worry, I’ll try to be gentle.”

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