Page 75 of Out of My Flocking Mind

“Left them in the car.”

“Phone?”

I held my hands out, unwilling to answer that one. “I don’t have anything, as you can see.”

His gaze moved over me, sending less than pleasant shivers through me. “How can I be sure you haven’t hidden anything?”

“Yeah, thanks, but I am so not into the idea of some weird cavity search kink right now. I’ll pass.” Even as I said that, I lifted the hem of my sweater to show off my stomach and the waist of the sweats, trying to sell the fact.

He came closer, and the sensation of his hands patting over my clothes turned my stomach. Still, I didn’t move, didn’t jerk away as he checked my pockets for anything I might use against him. When satisfied, he made a slight grunt.

Was he sorry he couldn’t keep this up longer? Bastard.

“All right, then, let’s get going.”

I turned toward Trey, the idea of leaving him there passed out not sitting all that well.

Ryder waved him off. “He’ll wake up in a few hours all on his own. At that point, he’ll see how it went, but it’s not my problem anymore. Come on.” Ryder wrapped his hand around my arm, his grip tight enough for my crow to object. He pulled me toward the back of the shop.

I caught one more glimpse of Trey, surprised to find his eyes open, though it didn’t seem like they locked on anything. Fear bubbled inside me, but I kept quiet. It was probably just his mind recovering—at least, that’s what I told myself as Ryder led me out the back.

“You’re going to just leave all that stuff there?” I asked.

“Why not? Cleaning it up would be a pain. The items needed to make Cloud aren’t that hard to get, save for what I need from Harrison, which I already have packed up. It’s easier to just start over in a new city with all new shit. Besides, it isn’t like everyone doesn’t know it was me—no reason to get rid of any evidence.” He opened the door to a large crew cab truck. I grabbed the ‘oh shit’ handle, annoyed by the lack of running boards. Short people exist, damn it! I hauled myself into the truck just before he slammed the door shut.

The engine roared to life after he hit the start button, then put it into reverse. The back seat was full of boxes—evidence that he was planning on running.

I laughed, unable to help it.

Ryder peered to the side, frowning. “Not sure there’s much to laugh about right now. What, have you lost your fucking mind already?”

“I was just thinking about how many times I thought about running off over the past years. When I got myself into trouble, when I was framed for murder, when things were so fucking hard, I’d always think—I could just run away. I could disappear and none of this would be my problem anymore. I think it’s hilarious that when I finally do, it’s with you.” I wiped my eyes, which had started to water. “Gotta say, I never saw that one coming. Life does like to be random.”

Ryder steered the large vehicle with ease, a sign that he was used to it.

It shuddered when we hit a pothole, but Ryder didn’t seem to notice. The lights of the shop disappeared into the distance, the darkness growing and along with it—my anxiety. It was like now, with just the two of us, I really had to face the uncertainty of my future, the reality of my position. I’d gotten trapped here with a guy who not only wanted to hurt me, but who was looking forward to it.

And here I was, sitting in his truck, headed away from any chance of help. I was leaving behind everything in my life. I was leaving behind the life I’d created, my home, my family, the people I’d surrounded myself with. I didn’t look for them to save me, but fuck if it didn’t hurt that I wouldn’t see them again.

I thought about how pissed Harrison would be when he learned about this, and worse, how he’d blame himself. I thought about the way Galen would rage, cursing me not coming to him. I could only picture the retribution Kelvin would rain down on Ryder—and I was pretty sure that asshole would track down Ryder all on his own. Was it some sort of petty revenge that I felt sure Ryder would pay for what he’d done?

Too bad it would be too late to actually do me any good, with me being six feet under by that point.

Hopefully. Sure, dying wasn’t included in my best-case scenario usually, but considering the other choice? Thinking back to how it had felt when Ryder had dug through my brain before? I really thought dead might have been a better option.

“Do you really hate Harrison this much?” I asked.

Ryder’s hands tightened on the steering wheel. “Wouldn’t you? What if you knew someone who stole everything from you? I was born to powerful parents as well—I should have become Clan head. Instead, he took it all from me. I have to live every day seeing him, hearing all about him, knowing that I should have gotten that all. Do you know what that feels like?”

I thought back to the person who had changed my entire life. I recalled the way I’d hated him some of the time for it. “I was there, once.”

“Oh, yeah?”

I nodded, then stared out the window as I spoke. “Yep. I wasn’t born like this, you know? I had a life, plans. They weren’t good exactly, but they were mine. Then someone showed up, and they changed that all. They didn’t ask my opinion, didn’t give me an option, just turned me into this.”

Ryder frowned, as though trying to get a handle on our conversation. “So you should get how that changes a person. Don’t you want to make them pay? You might not get your old life back, but you’ve got to want to do something so they feel the same pain?”

I hated that I couldn’t fully deny his words. How many times had I cursed him, had I lashed out because of everything I’d lost, all the things I’d suffered. “There was a time when I thought that, too,” I admitted softly. “When it first happened, when I first changed, I was so angry. All I could see was everything I’d lost. I’ve always been difficult, but along with that anger? I just couldn’t help it.”

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