Page 16 of Out of My Flocking Mind

A line appeared between his eyebrows as though he had to do some serious mental gymnastics to make sense of his own thoughts. “I have never seen you make such faces or noises. I found them…distressing.”

I laughed softly. “Well, I’m so sorry for distressing you.”

He sat on the edge of the bed beside me. “Such noises don’t bother me generally. I feel people’s emotions already, even if I attempt to ignore it, to block it out. It’s normal for me, so why is it that when you do it, I feel…uneasy?”

I had no idea what to say, so instead I took a moment to study his face. It somehow looked different than it had before. I recalled when I’d first argued with him at Ignis’ office, the way he’d stared at me as though I’d been nothing.

No, that wasn’t quite right. I’d thought it was pride or arrogance before, but I knew better now.

It had been fear.

Fear of getting close, fear of feeling too much, those had kept him distant. However, sitting beside me, he didn’t seem nearly so far away.

He seemed really fucking annoyed about it, too.

“Was the nightmare because of another attack?” I asked.

“No. I would have felt that. Was the nightmare the same thing from the attack?”

I nodded, shuddering as soon as it brought back the sickening feelings from the nightmare. My stomach rolled, and I worried for a moment I wouldn’t be able to keep it down.

All the alcohol I’d drank the night before probably worsened the situation.

I wasn’t some freshman co-ed who’d never drank before, though, so I swallowed to settle my stomach and drew my hands into tight fists.

“You flinched last night.”

“What?”

“When I touched your shoulder, you jerked away. Minds can not only go through the memories of a person, but can create horrors of their own. Which was it that they made you see?”

“My own memory.”

He nodded, still not looking my way. “I thought so. There’s a type of pain between fantasy and reality. False horrors are terrible, but memories? Knowing it happened? Those hold a different level of panic. What was the memory?”

“Yeah, thanks, but I’m not really interested in tearing open that wound for you to dig around in.”

He sighed, the sound making my chest ache. Why the fuck should I have felt bad over not wanting to tell Harrison every last little painful event in my life? Hell, I barely knew him, all things considered.

Before I needed to explain myself, however, he spoke again. “I understand. However, you should sleep more.”

“After that dream? Not happening.”

“I was thinking—I can’t feel your emotions or thoughts normally, but perhaps if I attempted it, I could help?”

“No thanks.” I tapped my temple. “This is a clear VIP members only, and I’m the only VIP on the list. I like to keep this mess private.”

“I wouldn’t try to read you, just to ease you back to sleep. I think I could keep any additional nightmare away.”

I took my bottom lip between my teeth, unsure. The last thing I wanted was another nightmare, but the idea of relying on him, of trusting him, that felt even scarier than the dream itself.

I shook my head to refuse. “Thanks, but I’ll be okay.”

“I just want to help, and that isn’t something I normally want to do.”

“I know, and I mean it, thanks for the offer. I just…” I sighed, then forced myself to answer truthfully. “I feel like someone has already walked all around in my brain, and the last thing I could handle right now is for someone else in there. I need to feel like my mind is my own.”

He sighed but nodded. “I understand. I don’t like it, but I understand your reasoning. Well, if you won’t go back to sleep, then go ahead and use the bathroom, then dress. There are some items hanging in the closet for you to use, and we will stop by your place today to pick up the things you need. You have an hour before we leave.” With that, he rose, the softness between us disappearing as though it had never been there at all.

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