Page 92 of Flock This

It took me back to when we’d slept together, to the desperate way I’d clung to him.

I’m such an idiot. I’d fallen for him. It was pointless to deny it now, to pretend like he hadn’t taken me in fully.

“I’ve spent every moment since you made that delivery trying to save you, Grey,” he whispered against my ear as though to convince me, like he wanted absolution.

Fuck that.

He kept talking, his arms so tight that I struggled to draw breath. “I told you before, I won’t lose you. I don’t care what I have to do, nothing will take you from me.”

“You’re the one who put me in danger!” This time, I swung my head back, striking him in the collarbone hard enough to hurt me. I doubted he felt it, but he released me. It let me turn around to face him head-on. “You say that to make yourself feel better, but this is all your fault!”

“I know,” he admitted, running his fingers through his hair in a rough shove. “I can predict most things, but somehow, you defy all my predictions. You mess with all my plans, manage to throw everything into chaos in a way nothing else can. None of that changes that what I said was true.”

“I have a trial today and no one to speak for me. You can be full of yourself all you want—I’m still fucked thanks to you.”

He caught my chin then moved closer, trapping me against the railing of the balcony. “I’ll speak for you.”

“You can’t. I’m not a Grave.”

His gaze moved to my throat. “You will be.”

The horror of his meaning struck me.

He meant to bite me, to turn me into his thrall.

My voice was thin when I spoke, as I tried so hard to keep my wits about me. “Unless you plan to take the blame, I don’t know how you think that’s supposed to help me.”

“Today, before your trial, I’ll be announced as the next Grave councilor. I’ll claim you as my thrall there, have you officially listed as a Grave. That will give me the standing to issue punishment for you. You’ll be given a lifetime of enslavement.”

“I’d rather die.”

“Too bad, because I won’t allow that. You’ll spend all your years with me, here, safe.”

“I will hate you forever.”

“Then you’ll hate me, but you’ll hate me while you are alive and safe.” His fingers dug into me, but I got the sense he didn’t mean to, that it was an accident caused by the feelings swirling through him.

“I won’t accept a bond. In fact, it might not even work with what I am.”

“Do you know what makes a true bond? The strength and will of the vampire. Trust me—there’s nothing stronger than my desire to keep you safe. I don’t care if you fight me, if you hate me, I will bind you to me as my thrall and save your life.” He leaned in closer, his breath tickling my neck.

I wanted to scream, but what good would it do? It wasn’t like anyone was going to show up and save me. I’d learned that already, hadn’t I?

How many times would it take for me to finally accept that lesson, that I was on my own? I’d foolishly trusted Kelvin, thought for even one stupid moment that he gave a damn about me, and this was my punishment.

If he’d cared, he would have told me the truth from the start. Instead, he hid it all and made choices for me. He tried to move me like one of the chess pieces on his board. He planned to steal my freedom and do as he wanted no matter how I felt.

It proved he didn’t understand me at all.

So I tried to shove him away, struggling despite his overwhelming strength. Fuck, wasn’t that my life in general? Always outmatched, always the underdog, yet fighting even when I knew I couldn’t win. “If you do this, you’re killing me,” I pled.

“I’m not. I’m saving you. You’re just afraid because you don’t understand how much I love you, you can’t imagine a life where you would be happy with me, but I’ll spend all my years giving you everything you could want.”

“Everything except the one thing I need—my freedom.”

“I have to choose right now between your freedom and your life, and that is an easy choice for me. I’ll pick your life no matter what you think. It’ll give us an eternity for me to get you to forgive me.”

“I won’t.”