Page 85 of Devious Gambit

In that book which is my memory, On the first page of the chapter that is the day when I first met you, appear the words, ‘Here begins a new life.’

THIRTY THREE

Rhys

I woke to a white Christmas alone.

The world had fallen silent. No car traffic, no typical sounds of people bustling to work or school. Quiet. Peace. Two words I adored, except at that very moment. I gazed at the collage running my finger down his cheek, wondering why he felt the need torture me in this way. This frame belonged only one place and that’s in a dumpster, but I didn’t have the heart to do that. Not yet.

Eventually, I rolled out of my warm cocoon to take a shower and wash away the emptiness scouring my belly. It seemed odd that I felt lonely at all. I once enjoyed my own company so much; I’d frequently choose isolation over socializing, silence over chatter. Mr. Ed spoiled my inner peace and balance. The day he blasted into my life like a nuclear weapon, was the day I tilted on the tight rope, almost falling. My belly had a hole the size of Canada where the space hog once was. Big lug bozo. The damn hole wasn’t there before he turned up, but it’s there now. Thanks for nothing, a-hole. My objective or perhaps a more accurate word, challenge, was to figure out how to heal this gaping wound because nothing seemed to be working.

I poured the last of my sour expired milk over my bowl of Bran Flakes, which tasted like cardboard. This was my attempt to eat healthier, so I’m stronger and better at traipsing through this maze of drama called life. I checked my messages to find ‘Merry Christmases’ from several people; Tris, Lise, Gretta, Hayden, Patty, Mom, an unknown number, which I knew was the terrible Mr. Ed. Apparently, deleting someone from one’s phone, doesn’t delete them completely and wholly from one’s life. He still had my number lodged into his phone and decided to actively use it. Pity.

I replied to everyone’s messages, except Mr. Ed. My point was proven that humans can’t truly keep their word. In Stillwater, Mr. Ed promised to never contact me ever again in exchange for my returning with him to KV. So far, he’d broken that promise twice.

I startled when my phone rang, worried that it might be Mr. Ed. Luckily, it was Tris.

“Are you going to Kilbernie Hall for Christmas dinner?” were the first words he said.

“I’m thinking about staying home, since it’s snowing heavily.”

“It’s not snowing that heavily,” he argued. “Get your ass out of that damn apartment and go see some people. It’s Christmas for fuck’s sake.”

“Settle down. I sense guilt in your tone.”

“Yeah, well, you’re family…and having dinner with Vi Fontaine is not exactly my idea of a fun Christmas.”

I laughed. “I’ll be fine, Tris.”

“Rhys!” he bellowed.

“What?”

“Go and have fucking dinner at Kilbernie! Now!”

“Alright. Jeez, you sound like a crazy dictator.”

“No one should be alone on Christmas day.”

“What if I want to be alone?”

“Then you’re lying to yourself once again. And this is typical of you. You’re always so apprehensive about meeting new people, but once you’re settled and surrounded by students just like you, you’ll be fine. Trust me.”

“Are you jealous?”

“A little. I’d rather be at Kilbernie having a blast than sitting in that big empty mansion of bad memories, pretending to be enjoying myself.”

“How is Vi since Robert was arrested?” I asked. She hadn’t called us in for the usual progress meeting for weeks.

“Doing spectacularly well, considering.”

“Really? Is that sarcasm?”

“No. According to Lise, she just went back to work and acted like nothing happened.”

“Lise is like that too.”

“Yeah, I know.”

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