Page 30 of The Only Goal

I’m just stoked to be along for the ride… for now. It’s a good distraction. These guys are letting me stay here for free, and I want to pull my weight. I’ve been cleaning and making sure the renovated villa stays spotless. Baxter is still working on finishing third-floor rooms, and I’ve been trying to keep Kai and Fezzik out of his hair and away from the fresh paint.

It’s been three days living like this, and it’s surprising how normal it all feels. Kai seems to like the hockey bros. They’re fun and friendly—especially Casey—bringing out a side of Kai I’ve never really seen before. The girls are lovely too. I’ve met all of them but Lani, and so far, they’re awesome. Mikayla cracks me up. She has no problem telling us exactly what she thinks, and Rachel’s the biggest sweetheart. Caroline, with her shock of red hair, is adorable, and the way Casey smiles at her melts my heart every time.

I honestly don’t know if Hudson has ever gazed at me the way these guys seem to gaze at their women.

There’s a lot of love in this place, and it makes it warm and inviting.

It also makes the thought of going back home to my husband and mess of a marriage so much harder. Guilt constantly niggles. I know I should make contact with him. It’s my responsibility as his wife to at least hear him out, right? If I love him, then I should.

But… I don’t want to right now.

My house in Chesterfield feels cold and lonely compared to the warmth of this old villa. I know I can’t stay here forever, but this is the first place to make me feel this way since… I used to hang out at Baxter’s house. His mom would be in the kitchen, creating some kind of healthy option which she swore tasted great but totally didn’t. Cookies without sugar don’t work. It didn’t matter, though, because we’d all laugh and tease her, and she’d pull hidden treats out of the pantry and throw them at us.

“Go watch a movie or something, you cheeky monkeys!”

We’d laugh and scamper off, then snuggle under her handmade quilt and watch TV or play video games.

I miss those days.

They were simple and sweet and?—

My phone buzzes, and I tense. Eyeing it up like it’s made from hazardous materials, I’m tempted to ignore it, but Rachel’s gazing at me. Snatching it off the counter, I check the screen, my shoulders relaxing a little when I see that the message isn’t from Hudson. It’s from one of the moms in Kai’s swim class.

Does Kai want to come over for a play? Max is driving me insane. He’s got so much energy I think he’s going to explode! He’s like a human tornado today!

I grin, picturing poor Lisa as she tries to manage her wild child. To be honest, Kai doesn’t like him that much, but out of politeness, I force him to go there sometimes. It’s good for him to learn to interact with all kinds of people—even the slightly annoying ones. I always go with him, though. Which is probably what Lisa is hoping for as well—a little adult company to break up the day. She’s a full-time stay-at-home mom like me, and the days can be long sometimes.

Wincing in sympathy, I text her back, unable to ignore my relief as I type:

We’d love to, but Kai and I are still out of town. Thanks for the invite, though.

I hold my breath as little gray dots appear on my screen. I’m hoping she’s not going to ask for details and the reason why I’m staying away longer than I originally planned.

Sad face! I hope you and Kai are having a wonderful time. Let’s catch up when you get back.

She ends her message with a string of emojis, and I respond with a simple thumbs-up and a love heart. My fingers are shaking as the words when you get back pulse on the screen in front of me.

When I get back?

A panic that is becoming all too familiar slices through me. I try to cut off the emotion and focus on the positive fact that I don’t have to explain myself yet. I can only imagine what the mothers and nannies at Kai’s various playgroups and activities are going to say.

Ugh, I don’t even want to think about it.

Placing my phone back down, I grip the edge of the counter and bite my lips together.

“So, I really love having you here.” Rachel grins at me, obviously trying to make me feel better. “It’s nice to have a cooking buddy. Have you always enjoyed working in the kitchen?”

“Not really.” I shake my head. “My mom was the kitchen queen, and whenever I tried to make something, she’d always take over under the guise of helping.” I roll my eyes. “I’ve had to learn how to cook all on my own, and I’ve had my fair share of disasters in the last few years. I’m getting better. Slowly.”

Rachel laughs. “How about baking? You seem pretty good at that.”

“Well, I definitely prefer it. I didn’t get many chances as a kid, although I used to try at Baxter’s house.” I laugh as memories hit me from all sides. “His mom was a bit of a health nut, so it was hard to find the right ingredients for baking something delicious.”

“Was she?” Rachel’s face lights with curiosity. “Wow. I didn’t know that. Baxter never talks about her.” She lets out a soft snort. “He hardly talks at all, actually. The guy likes to stick to himself.”

I watch her face, wondering if she’ll give more away, but she doesn’t say anything, and I can just imagine. I mean, when we were young, he didn’t have a bunch of friends, but he definitely hung out with me any chance he could. But the day his mom died in that car accident, both Baxter and his dad shut down. It was like the light went right out of both of them. I was devastated, too, but didn’t really have time to process it because I was trying to adjust to married life, deal with the fact that I was pregnant, and still get a good score on my SATs.

Seriously, it was crazy and all too much.

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