Page 13 of The Only Goal

I want to run over to him, jump into his arms, and give him the tightest squeeze. He gave the best piggybacks when we were kids. I always jumped on him any chance I could… and he caught me every time.

He walks down the last part of the stairs, stopping on the final one and gripping the railing. I can’t tell if he’s happy to see me, and it kills that euphoric buzz in my chest.

“Hey, Tammy.”

His voice. Oh my gosh, it’s so deep and manly now.

What do I say to him?

Why can’t I form words?

I want to scream and do the happy dance we came up with in seventh grade.

And I also want to curl into a ball and weep.

Baxter finally moves off that last step and inches toward us. He points at Kai in my arms. “And who’s this guy?”

“This is Kai.” I smile at my son, lightly brushing his nose. He looks a little scared and uncertain. I won’t force him to say anything just yet. This is all quite overwhelming. I get it.

“Hey, buddy.” Baxter waves at him, and Kai proves my point by gasping and burying his face in my neck.

Maybe it’s Baxter’s beard. He does look like a bit of a mountain man with that unkempt thing.

I try to come up with an excuse that won’t offend anyone. “He’s shy.” My voice breaks, tears glassing my eyes as I admit, “It’s been a rough couple days.”

Baxter’s expression crumples with a frown as he walks toward us.

“I’m sorry to just show up like this.” Great, now I’m crying. I didn’t know what I was expecting, really. I just wanted to see a familiar face, and it’s taken all of two minutes for me to slip into confession mode. How does Baxter get stuff out of me so easily? He doesn’t even have to try.

With a sniff, I keep blubbering, “I can’t go home. You know what Gladstone’s like. My parents won’t understand, no matter what I say… and none of my friends will get it either.”

“Tammy, what’s going on?” His voice has shifted to that soft, gentle lilt, and I’m done for.

I forget about the fact that Kai is still in my arms. I forget the great divide that formed between Baxter and me all those years ago.

Suddenly, it’s just him and me and my personal nightmare.

“Hudson’s having an affair.”

Baxter’s eyes darken, his expression turning hard. I look away from it. He never liked Hudson. I’ve thought of myriad reasons why, and I’ve never been able to settle on one. I didn’t want to think about what all those reasons could mean, so I just ignored them. Pretended like it wasn’t a big deal.

But it was.

Biting my lips together, I will myself to stop crying. “I just need somewhere to lie low for a few days while I figure this out. You were my best friend in high school, and I know we…” My gaze dips to the floor, memories flashing through me like flying photographs. “I mean, we… well, we lost touch… after…” I clear my throat, heat racing through me. “But… I don’t know where else to go.”

Baxter looks up, his eyes catching mine before he reaches out and brushes the tears off my cheek. The move is so natural. So familiar.

I ache in ways I can’t even explain.

“It’s okay,” he whispers. “You can stay here for as long as you need. We’ll find a space for you.”

We’ll…

I wonder who he means. I wonder if she’s pretty and nice and everything he deserves.

My soul feels crushed and wounded as I nod and force a smile. I’m grateful. I really am. And if he’s with someone, that’s awesome. If anyone deserves to be happily in love, it’s him. I just hope she doesn’t mind me hanging around.

It won’t be for long.

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