Page 10 of The Only Goal

And like always, whenever I think about her, I hear that warning in the back of my mind—you’ll never love another.

So, what the hell does that mean for me?

She’s with someone else.

She can never be mine.

Does that mean I’m destined to a life of solitude?

Sure, there’s some appeal to that, but when I see my friends with their ladies, I can’t help aching, because I want that too.

The problem is… I only want it with Tammy.

CHAPTER 5

TAMMY

Sunday was a write-off. After a terrible night’s sleep, I was groggy and grumpy… and I took it out on poor Kai. He basically stopped talking, which is what he does when he’s stressed, and that made me worried and miserable.

Hudson texted incessantly until I lost it and sent back:

CAN’T YOU JUST GIVE ME SOME FUCKING SPACE? I DON’T WANT TO TALK TO YOU RIGHT NOW! YOU CHEATED ON ME! I CAN STILL SEE YOU IN THE SHOWER WITH HER!

He went dark after that. It’s been a nice reprieve… but also unsettling. I’ve never felt more alone in my entire life. That isolation ate at me throughout the day. Kai watched way too much TV and turned into a demon child by the afternoon. I managed to get my shit together enough to take him to a playground so he could burn off some steam, and then we ate in a run-down diner with crappy decor and the best food. Too bad my appetite was nonexistent. I forced down half a sandwich and a few fries. I really hate wasting food, but my stomach just couldn’t take it.

And now we’re on the road again. After a second shitty night, I got up this morning and made the call I’d been too afraid to make.

The phone rang three times before a gruff voice answered, “You got George.”

“Hey, Mr. Brown. It’s Tamara Tan. Do you remember me?”

He chuckled. “Of course I do, kid. I still live next door to your parents.”

I winced, feeling like an idiot, wondering just how badly my voice was shaking. Did it match the trembling in my stomach?

“I was just thinking about Baxter and wondering what he’s up to these days.”

There was a pause that made my nerves burn. “Really?”

“Well, yeah. I mean, he was my best friend through middle school and… high school.” My voice went wispy, and I had to clear my throat. “I’m on a little road trip with Kai and thought if he was still in Nolan, I might swing past and say hello. But he would have graduated by now, right?”

“Yeah. Finished up college this year.”

“Oh, okay.” My head started to pound in time with my heart. “So, where’d he end up, then?”

Another pause.

I held my breath.

“He’s still in Nolan. Doing some building at the Ponderosa Countryside Villa.”

“Oh, wow. Building. He always used to love working with you in the summer.” I couldn’t help my smile. Baxter had always been good with his hands.

A memory flashed through me, and I cut it off before it could fully form. I couldn’t think about his hands in that moment.

Shit, I probably shouldn’t have even been calling.

But I did.

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