Page 88 of The Only Goal

I step back, shrugging him off me. “You say you love me, yet you threaten to take my son away?”

He sighs, dipping his chin. “Of course I wouldn’t take him from you. You’re a good mother. I just… It would make life a million times harder, Tam. I don’t want to be a single father, and I know you don’t want to be a single mother. Come on, be sensible about this. Do you really want to put Kai through all that?”

He’s right.

Divorce is complex and horrible. Maybe that’s why I’ve been hesitating to find a lawyer and get the process started. Because it’s freaking terrifying.

And I don’t want to put Kai through it.

I hate the idea of him having to take sides or choose. The whole back-and-forth thing. It’d be a nightmare. And if I did live in Nolan, that’s a huge commute. Everything would just be so difficult if I stayed here.

And it’ll be easier if you go.

The thought hurts my heart. It’s an overwhelming, physical pain, and I press my hand against it, trying to understand it, yet maybe not wanting to know.

Baxter.

The name whistles through me like a broken prayer.

If I do this for Kai, I’ll be forfeiting my chance with Baxter.

And part of me knew that, right? Which is why I walked away from his bed last night. But now that the reality is so much closer, it hurts that much worse.

My head starts to spin as heartache, desperation, and pain swirl through me.

I don’t want to make this choice.

I wish none of this was happening to me!

It makes me want to scream and fist my hair, crumple to the floor and start slapping my hand on the ground.

But then Kai comes running into the parlor, beaming at me.

“Rachel made pancakes! You want one?”

Hudson flinches at the interruption and spins to give him a tight smile. “Not right now, kiddo.”

I shake my head as well, and Kai frowns, turning back for the kitchen, his momentary enthusiasm instantly smothered by the tension in the room.

He shuffles away, and I cross my arms, my insides vibrating.

Hudson’s staring at me, his face still so handsome. Women have always thought it, and I used to feel so privileged that he chose me above everyone else.

And now he’s choosing me again.

Begging for me this time.

Promising to make up for his past mistakes.

He’s fighting for our marriage… do I owe him the same?

CHAPTER 43

BAXTER

Kai creeps back into the kitchen, looking just a touch sad as he climbs back onto the stool.

“What’s up?” I muss his hair, forcing myself to eat Ray’s pancakes, even though I don’t feel like it.

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