Page 48 of The Only Goal

His simple statement speaks volumes. His shock over the fact that Hudson and I have been sleeping together makes my insides curl and writhe. He’s not asking how I’m going to cope with this or how the hell I’m supposed to tell my parents. No, he’s trying to deal with the fact that I—who said I wasn’t ready for sex—gave myself to Hudson when I wouldn’t give myself to him.

Seriously?

Part of me wants to scream at him for being a selfish prick, but he looks so wounded right now that all I can do is stare at him.

And that’s when I start to realize something I never thought of before.

That afternoon by the swimming hole… maybe it meant more to him than I realized. Maybe it wasn’t just the curious fascination I’d been feeling.

Holy shit, was it more?

Had he been hoping we’d become a couple or something?

Why didn’t he say anything?

My emotions are so fragile and strung out right now, I don’t know whether to be touched, furious, or blindsided.

“Bax, did you—” I don’t get a chance to ask my question because he talks over me.

“What are you going to do?”

“Huh?” I blink.

“About the pregnancy. You’re gonna have to tell people.” His sharp tone snaps me back to the problem at hand, and all I can do is stupidly nod and agree with him.

“Yeah.”

“Who are you going to tell first?”

“I don’t know.”

“You should probably talk to Hudson. You know, because he’s your… boyfriend and… the father.” He grits out the words like they hurt him, and I can’t believe I never truly noticed this before.

“Bax.” I reach for his arm, but he shifts before I can touch him.

“You know, you should probably get back. Your parents are due home any minute, and they’ll wonder where you are.” He’s looking anywhere but at me. “You should go.”

A stone lodges in my throat, and I stare at his shadowed face, so set and emotionless. He’s staring at the wall ahead of him, and I’d do anything to have him glance at me, flash me his sweet, lopsided smile.

I stare at him, silently begging him to look at me. But he doesn’t.

“Are you coming with me?” I finally ask.

“I’ll help you down.” He nods.

“But you’re not coming with me.”

The muscles in his jaw clench, and I’m pretty sure he’s never going to look at me again, let alone talk to me.

I want to ask him why he’s doing this.

I want to hear him fucking say it.

Tell me why this is hurting you so badly!

Tell me why you’re being a jerk and not supporting me when I need you!

But I know he never will.

---