Page 34 of The Only Goal

“You don’t have to.”

Reaching for the skates I found him before practice, I crouch down and start loosening the laces.

“Let’s take your shoes off and put these on. We’re only gonna have ten minutes anyway, so you only have to try for a short second.”

After a long beat, he finally mumbles, “Okay,” and rips his boots off without untying them properly.

I grin and help him into his skates, then walk him down the stairs. He wobbles and nearly trips trying to adjust to the blades under his feet, so in the end, I lift him up and rest him on my hip, carrying him down to the ice.

As soon we hit that hard, cold surface, I feel that familiar sense of comfort. My dad got me on the ice when I was three. He gave me my first stick when I was four, and I’ve never looked back.

“Okay, buddy.” I set him on his feet, and he flinches, digging his little fingers into my arm. “I’ve got you. Hold my hands and I’ll skate you around.”

With a nervous frown, he takes my hands, and I skate backward, gently gliding him around the ice. He wobbles at first but starts to gain confidence by the end of our first circuit. His lips are twitching like he wants to smile, but he’s kind of too busy concentrating.

“Do you want to try on your own or keep holding my hands?”

He glances up at me, then, after a little consideration, loosens his grip and lets me go. I move back, giving him some extra space and slowly skating beside him while he inches across the ice.

“Try to glide if you can.”

I show him how to push off, and he copies me, doing a half-decent job. “That’s it. Now this foot… Good… Good… You got it.”

A small dimple appears in his left cheek. I think of Tammy, wishing she was here to see this. Slowing down, I watch Kai pull away, imagining Tammy against the wall, clapping and cheering him on. Or maybe she’s beside me, beaming as she watches her sweet little boy trying something new.

A dreamy smile tugs at my lips… until Kai lets out a short gasp and starts to fall.

It happens so fast that I can’t reach him in time, and for reasons I will never understand, rather than cushioning the fall with his hands, he decides to hit the ice face-first.

“Oh shit.” I dash toward the crunch, skidding to a quick stop and crouching down to help him up.

He’s shaking, his eyes wide with shock as I get him back on his feet.

Brushing the ice off his face, I notice that it’s already starting to swell up, his lip getting fat and purple before my eyes.

I hiss with a wince, and that’s when his eyes start to tear up.

Oh shit, please don’t cry on me, kid.

My internal begging goes unheeded as Kai’s lips start to tremble, and then this pitiful whimper that’s gonna shatter my heart pops out of him.

“It’s okay. You’re okay. You hit that ice pretty hard, and I bet it hurts, but you’re gonna be just fine.”

“Mommy,” he wails, and I’m quickly feeling like the worst human on the planet as I scoop him into my arms and skate for the edge.

“Is he okay?” One of the moms stops to check as I race up the stairs.

“Yeah, we’re good,” I bark, probably sounding like an asshole, but I don’t need a fucking audience for this.

Sitting Kai on my lap, I undo his skates with quivering fingers while he cries in my ear.

Fuck.

Tammy’s gonna kill me for this.

I was supposed to be looking after her kid, and I’m bringing him home a bruised, wailing mess.

CHAPTER 15

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