Page 110 of The Only Goal

If our marriage was so awesome and happy and wonderful… why’d he need to cheat?

The truth is simple…

Our marriage wasn’t any of the things it should be.

I’d just been too afraid to admit it to myself, to him… to anyone.

I didn’t want to think about what it might mean to leave him. How difficult it would be for Kai. How terrifying it would be to step out into the big, bad world alone.

But now that I’ve done it for a short time…

Now that I’m back…

I can’t keep denying this truth.

If I stay, I’m gonna die.

I’m going to shrivel into a soulless robot. And what kind of mother will I be for Kai?

He deserves my joy, doesn’t he?

He deserves a mother who is energized by life and love and hope.

I can’t be those things if I stay. The amount of effort it’s taking me to play “happy mommy” is only getting greater. It’ll wane, and then what will he be left with?

My throat swells, acid burning my windpipe as I try to swallow and come to terms with this.

When I drove away in shock after I caught Hudson and that woman, I hadn’t really thought all of this through.

But I’ve had all afternoon and evening to mull this over.

And now I can face it with logic.

I just wish logic didn’t feel so damn scary.

The garage door starts to whir, and I tense, staring at the internal door like a deer in headlights. Even when it pops open and Hudson appears looking end-of-the-day tired, I can’t move.

“Sorry I’m late,” he’s muttering. “Had to go for drinks with a client after my meeting and then…” He gives me a confused frown, dumping his keys in the bowl on the counter. “Why are you looking at me like that?”

I can feel the color draining from my face.

Is this it?

Is this really happening?

But what about Kai?

I start to panic, terror ripping through me at the idea of an impending court case. Does Kai want to leave? What if he begs to stay with Daddy? What if?—

“Tam.” Hudson clicks his fingers in my face.

I flinch, snapping out of it.

I can smell the alcohol on his breath as he leans down and lightly kisses my cheek. I go stiff, then quickly shift away from him, stepping into the kitchen.

“Seriously, what is wrong with you?” He glances around. “Is Kai in bed?

“Yeah, I settled him about an hour ago,” I mumble, irritated that he doesn’t know his son’s routine.

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