Page 45 of Hers for the Weekend

When Holly looked away from the bright, laughing group toward Tara, she saw that she was now sitting alone, her hands clasped and her face in the polite mask that meant she was wildly uncomfortable. She touched Miriam on the shoulder and subtly nodded in her direction. Miriam nodded back and gave a tiny wave to Cole, who was busy snuggling with Sawyer and systematically shoving turkey bacon into his mouth.

Once she caught his eye, Holly watched her gesture toward Tara, all small enough that Tara, who was staring into her coffee, wouldn’t notice. Cole casually steered Sawyer over to Tara’s table and drew her into a conversation with Esther Matthews and Gavi, who were sitting nearby.

“You watch out for her,” Miriam observed, pulling Holly into a corner, outside of the earshot of the crowd.

“So do you,” Holly said.

Miriam smiled. “We might have broken up, but Tara and I were good friends for a long time. She took care of me, when I was still in shell shock from being estranged from everyone. She was gentle, and kind. I mean, you know, also kind of cold, but she always made sure I had what I needed. She financed the launching of my art career, and when I up and left to become a tree farmer’s wife, she never asked for a single cent back. In fact, she bought a lot of Miriam Blum originals to help save the farm when we almost lost it.”

Why did that make Holly’s heart melt?

She chewed on her lip, watching Tara and Cole with their blond heads bent together. “Does she ever stop trying to save people, and worry about saving herself?”

“I think she thinks she has to,” Miriam said. “Save everyone, I mean.” She paused to take a sip of coffee and leaned against the wall behind them. “I never understood why, because she didn’t tell me about the fire. Neither of them told me. I didn’t find out until a year ago, and it made a lot of puzzle pieces fall into place.”

“How so?” Holly asked.

Miriam cocked her head, giant mane of wild brown curls bouncing as she did. Holly was going to have to ask her about her conditioner. “Well, they went in opposite directions after, didn’t they? Tara trying to fit in every box so she never lit anything on fire again, literally or metaphorically. Cole beginning a life of crime. Tara cutting off all her emotional ties, and Cole finding and clinging to me because he’d been cut off from the person he needed most.”

Holly watched as Cole casually put an arm around Tara’s shoulders, and she let her body relax in a way she never did, even during sex.

“But the Tara who wants to blow things up is still under all those layers,” Holly said.

Miriam laughed. “Yeah, I’m not sure you can take the arsonist out of the girl, in this case. No matter how hard she tries to be The Perfect Lesbian Debutante, underneath she’s the biggest hooligan of us all. So she has to keep her lid on super tight.”

“I’m afraid she’s going to explode,” Holly said. “Like a pressure cooker.”

Nodding, Miriam said, “I’m glad she has you now. It’s hard on her, all of us falling in love like dominoes. She hates to feel left out.”

Internally, Holly winced. Had she made things worse for Tara by agreeing to this? Now her friends weren’t worried about her, but maybe they should be. Actually, she was certain they should be—Tara worked too hard, hated half the things she was doing with her life, never slept, lived on sweet tea, and instead of using her broken engagement as an opportunity to reflect on her choices, she was planning to find another woman to enter into a marriage of convenience with her.

Holly was worried about Tara, and she barely knew her.

“We really do want her to move up here, you know,” Miriam said, as if she could hear Holly’s thoughts. “We’d all love to have her living close by. If you wanted to come, too, there’s lots of opportunities for bakers, especially since the Matthewses are talking about retiring.”

It didn’t seem worth pointing out that it would be weird to move in with Tara this early in their supposed relationship, especially since Miriam had lived with Noelle since before they started dating.

Also, it had to be said, they were lesbians. It made sense that Miriam assumed she would U-Haul it to wherever Tara was.

“She’s dead set on staying in the South, but you should keep asking her. I think moving up here would be so good for her that it scares her,” Holly said. “You’d probably have to tell her the farm was failing and only she could save it, if you wanted to convince her.”

“I’m not above that,” Miriam deadpanned.

“Tell me about your Old Ladies,” Holly said, turning the conversation from Tara because she suddenly realized Tara would be mortified by all her friends discussing her behind her back.

Besides, Holly was curious about this ability Miriam had to keep friends all over the country, whom she rarely saw. Could I have built and maintained friendships with all those line cooks and fellow waitresses I left behind? Should I have? It wasn’t something Holly had ever wondered, assuming that seeing the world meant, by necessity, being a lone wolf.

While she listened with half an ear, part of her was watching Tara.

Although they’d been acquaintances for years, she’d really only known Tara for a few days, but she missed her. Missed her now, across a crowded room. Her life, with Tara in it, felt like she was driving into range of a radio station after miles of static, to find her favorite song playing. What was it going to be like when they went back to being friends, and Holly moved away? Would she just always miss Tara?

On the table in front of her, her phone buzzed with a text from her sister.

Caitlin: I need a million more details about this magical Christmas tree farm

Caitlin: Also are you really not coming home, even after Christmas?

Caitlin: Is it because Dustin is here? Because I can lock him in a closet for a few days.

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