Page 5 of Rogue Familiar

“Let’s take a moment.” Nic held up a hand. “A few minutes more won’t make that much difference.” She went to pour them both some cold tea. Spring had given way to full summer in Meresin and the heat was beginning to build, layering in thick, languid layers over the ripening landscape. She handed Selly a glass clinking with ice cubes.

“Ice?” Selly swirled the cubes so they chimed musically.

“A new experimental collaboration with House Ishim,” Nic explained. “They’re a third-tier house with wizards who mainly work on snow-removal in regions without elementally-heated roads. No imagination, really, or much ambition, which is why they’ve remained third tier for so long. But what they do have is wizards with water magic and an affinity for cold. We’re showing them how to purify water to create ice.” She frowned. “Shipping and distribution is still a problem, but the timing is good with summer already in this region and spring coming on in the bulk of the Convocation. I understand it will get even hotter here.”

“Oh yes,” Selly agreed, sipping the tea. It was delightfully chill and minty. As the cooling, calming elixir settled into her stomach, she realized how agitated she’d been since she woke and saw Jadren’s note. And hurt. And betrayed. And furious. And sexually frustrated.

With all that going on, taking a moment as Nic suggested wasn’t actually a bad idea. It wouldn’t take all that long to find Jadren, not with her tracking skills and the bond between them. Selly sat on the cushioned window seat and took a deep breath. The tall glass windows stood open to the honey-sweet morning air, birdsong echoing from the blooming orchards and bees buzzing thick in the rose garden lining the walls.

The manse was recovering from being submerged in the marshes with astonishing speed, seeming to evolve overnight. Nic had explained that the magic Gabriel had wrought to restore the house tended to follow its own path, that Gabriel’s connection to their Phel wizard ancestors meant the manse would essentially remember how had been in its heyday and become that again. It sounded improbable to Selly, but seeing rose borders spring up without gardeners planting them seemed to confirm the truth of it. There was an awful lot about magic Selly didn’t know.

Nic sat beside her, gazing out the windows also, sunlight gleaming on her dark, short-cropped curls. “Let’s say you do go after him immediately,” Nic mused, then flicked her an emerald-green glance. “We’ll need to convince Gabriel, first, and you’ll need to assemble proper provisions, so he won’t worry. And,” she continued implacably when Selly started to argue, “let’s say that you, with your admirable tracking skills, find Jadren in short order. Then what?”

Selly opened her mouth to answer, and found she had no thoughts to form words. Closing her mouth again, she tried to imagine it—and to ignore Nic’s knowing look. Her canny sister-in-law had a point. Once Selly caught up to Jadren, as she undoubtedly would, what would she do? Throw herself naked at him? Because she’d done that and he’d drugged her senseless to escape.

She couldn’t really tie him up and drag him back to House Phel. Or attempt to reason with him, because they’d just end up arguing and he’d probably win since he could always talk circles around her, tying her up in spurious logic that she just knew wasn’t right but couldn’t seem to think her way around. When she’d first read that note—clearly meant to cow her into meekly letting him go—she’d vowed revenge when she caught up to him. That he’d be the one shedding girlish tears. But did she want that?

No, she wanted him. And she wanted him to want her, to love her, the same way she felt about him. The way she was sure he truly did feel, if he hadn’t somehow dredged up a noble impulse from the depths of his scarred soul and convinced himself that she was better off without him. Better off. Why did everyone else think they had the key to her being better off? She was beginning to loathe that phrase.

What she had to do was convince Jadren that she was safe with him, that they belonged together, that together they were stronger. Together they could address whatever scared him so badly about having a familiar. Being apart would fix nothing.

Nic waited her out, sipping her tea with patience, as if she weren’t Lady Phel with a million items on her many lists. Negotiating with other High Houses and so forth. More things Selly didn’t know much about.

“I don’t know,” Selly finally said, keenly aware of how much that applied to. “I hadn’t thought beyond going after him. He’s mine, whether we’re bonded or not. That might not make any sense to you, since Jadren and I have known each other for such a short time, but what we went through together… I just know he’s mine. The only one for me.”

To her surprise, Nic smiled warmly, nodding. “You’re very like your brother, you know. Gabriel decided I was his from looking at a miniature portrait of me. And from a single night together during my Betrothal Trials. When I fled from him and the Convocation, Gabriel was instructed in no uncertain terms to go back to House Phel and await the outcome. But no, he came after me.” Her smile turned intimate and soft. “Like you, he also had zero plan for what he’d do once he found me, which—against all probability—he did.”

Selly considered that with bemusement. She’d known the bare bones of how Nic and Gabriel had come to be together, but not all of those details. “So, you’re saying that Gabriel and I share romantic impulsiveness, an enthusiasm for grand gestures and embarking on harebrained quests, but lack the ability to plan for a successful conclusion?”

Nic actually laughed, eyes sparkling with affection that wasn’t just for Gabriel. “I wouldn’t have phrased it exactly that way. Still, you’re not far off the mark.” She sobered. “If I didn’t make it clear before, I absolutely believe in your feelings for Jadren. Whether the product of your harrowing adventures together, the wizard–familiar bond, or your obvious compatibility—likely all three—there is a connection between you and Jadren. Even were you to agree to sever the bond, I don’t know that it would change anything for either of you.”

“Do you think I should agree to the severing?”

“I think it’s not up to me,” Nic answered with some acerbity. “That’s a very personal choice.” With a sigh, she raked a hand through her curls. “And I’m fully aware of the irony of me saying that, having participated in the decision to sever Maman’s bond with Papa without her knowledge or consent, and Laryn’s with Asa, which she consented to under duress.” Her expression hardened. “Though arguably Laryn deserved far worse.”

“You could’ve demanded to have Laryn executed, after what she did to you,” Selly pointed out. Selly bore considerable hatred for Laryn, but she still shuddered at how that must feel, being cut off from her wizard. But, who knew? Maybe Laryn was relieved. She’d never seemed all that happy with Asa.

Nic shook her head. “Gabriel could never have stomached executing Laryn—either while she was pregnant with an innocent child or after the babe was born, as it would cast her as little more than a brood mare.”

“Compromise?” Selly asked.

“The secret of all lasting relationships,” Nic agreed. “The good news is, I can use that as leverage on Gabriel to prevent him from strong-arming you into having your bond severed.”

“Thank you,” Selly said quietly, but with intense relief. She might not be able to logically explain her reasoning to Gabriel, but she hated the idea of the severing. “Gabriel probably won’t understand,” she added, “and I hate for him to think badly of me for it, but…” She trailed off, not quite able to say the rest of it out loud.

Nic wrinkled her nose sympathetically. “I can offer this much: I also refused to have our bond severed.”

It took Selly a moment. When she caught up, she gasped, quickly covering her mouth with her hand. “You and Gabriel… discussed having your bond severed?”

Nic rolled her gorgeous eyes. “Yes, of course. We didn’t exactly discuss it so much as your foolishly noble brother suggested, then tried to insist, and even called into question whether I’m capable of making a logical decision on the topic.”

Selly whistled low and slow in wonder. “And he’s still alive.”

Laughing, Nic put a hand on Selly’s arm, squeezing in affection. “You understand me, sister. Yes, I managed not to kill him, but you should know this is an ongoing argument between us and is a disagreement that lies at the root of his concern for you. Gabriel still can’t quite reconcile himself to not knowing if I truly love him or if the bond forces me to.”

“Severing the bond would prove it to both of you, wouldn’t it?”

“First of all, we don’t know if a bond, once-severed can be reestablished. That’s a risk I’m not willing to take. Also, I don’t need my feelings proved to myself,” Nic continued with steely resolve. “And Gabriel can learn to believe what I tell him without some kind of outside proof.”

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