And everything in her screamed to go after him, to follow the ever-attenuating bond until she could feel the richness of him on the other side of it again. Until she could touch his skin, breathe in his scent, and experience his ardent caresses. She wanted him as she’d never wanted anyone.
But was it real?
“How do I know if it’s real?” she asked Nic, hearing the plaintiveness in her own voice, her hands limp in Gabriel’s grasp.
“Trust me, it isn’t—” Gabriel began, cut off when Nic let out a small screech of frustration and hopped off the desk, her sea-green skirts swishing and falling perfectly into place, flattering her voluptuous figure as only an Ophiel gown could do. Something else to envy/admire in Nic. Perhaps if Selly weren’t quite so tall, bony, and angular, Jadren would have wanted her more. I’m not interested in acquiring a stick-insect of an untrained, feral marsh-cat of a familiar, he’d said. A scrawny, unattractive little thing. Oh, he’d tried to walk it back later, but… Maybe the truth had been in those initial, scathing assessments. She didn’t know what to think.
“Gabriel, love, would you leave us?” Nic asked with a sweet smile, her emerald eyes jewel hard.
“After you refused to leave?” he demanded, dropping Selly’s hands and turning on his wife.
“Yes. This is a conversation between familiars. We don’t need you muddying the waters.”
He took a breath to argue and she held up a hand to stop him. “Either you trust me or you don’t,” she added implacably, some deeper meaning to the words. “Besides, you promised to do the final vetting on the ever-replenishing water flasks that are ready to be shipped out. If we don’t start providing a return on our end of numerous financial agreements, we’re going to lose the few allies we do have.”
“Do they count as allies if they’re only our friends for financial benefit?” he asked darkly.
“Yes,” she answered firmly. “A contract fulfilled outpaces anything so flimsy as a handshake and ostensibly friendly conversation.”
He eyed her. “Sometimes I worry about your cynicism.”
She smiled sunnily. “A good balance for your idealism.”
Gabriel took a breath to say something more, then bit down on it. “Fine. I’ll be in the minions’ workshop then.”
“Have a nice day at work, dear!” Nic called after him cheerfully as he stalked out of the room, slamming the library doors shut behind him. Instead of wincing as Selly expected, Nic rolled her eyes dramatically. “Wizards.”
“Just tell it to me straight,” Selly begged. “What didn’t you want to say in front of Gabriel?”
With a sigh, Nic gave Selly a rueful smile. “How do you know it’s real, how you feel? The short answer is that you don’t. That maybe you never will.”
“Even if I agree to have the bond severed?”
Nic grimaced. “Maybe? Probably not. I wish I could tell you otherwise.”
Selly wished it, too.
“But I have a question for you in turn,” Nic said, canting her head and watching Selly with keen attention. “Does it matter?”
Does it matter? “Of course it matters,” she protested.
“Does it though?” Nic persisted. “Don’t knee-jerk. Don’t say so because Gabriel believes that. Think. Feeling how you feel, even if you didn’t have a name or reason for it, would you go after Jadren anyway?”
Oh. Selly wasn’t much given to introspection. Or maybe she could be, given the opportunity. She’d had precious little time with a mind clear enough for self-examination. One thing stood out clearly, however: She didn’t care why she wanted to go after Jadren; only that she did. That she had to. “I can’t do anything else.”
Nic’s full lips curved in understanding. “There’s your answer. The only answer that matters.”
~2~
“I should leave immediately,” Selly told Nic, who cocked her head in question instead of giving the affirming nod she’d expected. Maybe hoped for. If Gabriel was firm on forbidding Selly to go, she’d need Nic’s help.
“Should you, though?” Nic asked, disappointing her.
“The longer I delay, the farther he’ll get,” Selly argued, then frowned. “He’s truly inadequate at surviving on the land, away from civilization. I hate to think what trouble he’ll get himself into.”
“Seliah, sweetheart,” Nic said gently. “Jadren is a powerful El-Adrel wizard. He’s hardly a babe in the woods.”
“That analogy is far too apt.” You have no idea, she almost added, hearing Jadren’s favorite phrase of defensiveness and denial in her head all too clearly. “What good are his skills at making gadgets against the predators and other dangers lurking in the marshes?”