Page 24 of Mismatched

“Pretty sure he’d rather watch grass grow than go apartment hunting,” Seth says, but then his tone turns more serious. “I haven’t told him yet. I wanted to check in with you first to see how he’s doing. It ah... seems like he’s struggling with Mom’s death more than I expected.”

“Yeah, I agree.” I glance at Caprice, who’s listening intently, and for a moment I consider taking the phone off speaker. But my best friend has seen me through some ugly times in my marriage, and it seems silly to hide this when I really need her.

Seth exhales. “I tried to talk with him about it the other day, but... I don’t know, it was like he couldn’t hear me.”

“He told me about that,” I say, softening as I reflect on the conversation we had just before we came to blows over family planning. Things got intense so quickly, I’d almost forgotten he actually pulled away from me initially.

“He just sounded so... down. So alone,” Seth says. “He was going on about all this stuff, talking about our dad dying and trying to hold the family together. ”

I furrow my brow. “He didn’t tell me any of that. He just said talking with you about moving made him feel better.”

“I’m glad something can.” Seth’s voice thickens. “I’m just worried about him.”

My brother-in-law is possibly the most laid-back person I’ve ever met. He dealt with every blow of his mom’s decline in stride. Never panicking or missing a beat, just getting her what she needed. I’m not sure how to handle this level of Seth concern.

“What do you think I should do?” I murmur, pulling into a parking space outside Caprice’s building. I don’t mention Anton’s urgency to start a family, but part of me wonders if he already knows.

“I was going to wait till the house closed, but I might come out to look at apartments early, if you don’t mind me crashing for a few days?”

I close my eyes, grateful for the umpteenth time Anton has the very best little brother. “I don’t mind at all, Seth. I... I’ve been having a hard time reaching him, too.”

“Maybe we just need to gang up on him,” he says, sounding a little more like himself.

“Yeah.” I manage a laugh. “Can’t let him forget we’re still his family.”

But as soon as the thought leaves my mouth, I think of Anton’s impassive face. Hear his words echoing back through my mind. I don’t know if I can not do kids, Lydia.

What if Seth and I aren’t enough? What if he needs more?

By the time we eat something and get the peephole camera installed, it’s almost seven o’clock, but it works beautifully. We take turns coming down the hall from different directions and adjusting the settings, but Caprice has got the hang of it, and I can’t help noticing the line that’s been sitting between her eyebrows all afternoon has finally disappeared.

“Finally. Maybe I can get my brother off my back.”

“You told Theo about the emails?” I ask, gathering up the remnants of sandwich wrappers from Snarf’s.

“I sort of had to,” she says. “I got a pretty bad one while he was here.”

“And he hasn’t descended on Denver with his SEAL team yet?”

She rolls her eyes. “He only knows about the one.”

I bite my lip, but don’t say anything. Caprice’s twin brother has always been super protective, but it got worse after everything that went down with her former fiancé.

“Have you been treadmill running again?” I ask when I see her hands have started shaking.

“Yes.” She exhales. “I still don’t feel super safe at the park by myself.”

I frown. Like my husband, Caprice uses exercise as an outlet for anxiety and frustration. But nobody moves to Colorado just to run indoors.

“How about we go together Sunday morning?” I ask. “Actually, let’s go every Sunday. It won’t be too hot if we go early enough.”

Caprice’s eyes light up immediately, but she bites her lip. “Lydia, you hate jogging.”

“I do.” I give her an indulgent smile. “But I love you, and I know how much you hate running on a machine.”

She straightens in her chair, clearly soothed by just the idea of channeling nervous energy outdoors. And now I wish I’d thought to suggest it earlier. “Well, maybe not every week,” she says. “But it might be nice once in a while...”

“I did it with you before and I didn’t die,” I say with confidence. “I’m sure Anton would be quick to detail all the health benefits.”

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