Page 68 of Secret Submission

Connor stood in the street, stunned, because he didn’t know what to do.

That wasn’t… he hadn’t…

She’d taken it the wrong way, yet she hadn’t at the same time. Because everyone was staring at them now and he really wished he’d just gotten in the car and gone when she’d made the request. Why hadn’t he? Why had he had to push?

“That’s not what I meant. I’m sorry.”

Closing her eyes, Julie pinched the bridge of her nose.

“I’m sorry too, Connor, but I really can’t do this right now.” Even though she’d stopped yelling, her voice was pitched high, like she was on the verge of losing it.

He shouldn’t have pushed her. He should have seen how tense she was, how on edge she was, and he should have let her have her space, the way she’d asked him. He shouldn’t have picked a fight just because he was upset that she wasn’t more grateful after everything he’d done that afternoon. He’d realized something was going on, and he’d made it about how he felt instead of focusing on what she needed from him.

Some of what she’d told him about her ex, about how he was with her family, was popping up into his head now. Why it hadn’t before, he didn’t know. Maybe because he’d been too busy trying to make a good impression on her family.

Just like her ex.

“I’m sorry. Get in the car, and I promise I won’t ask any more questions, I won’t say anything. We can just get in the car and go.” His voice had turned pleading, and he didn’t care anymore who was listening, who was watching. It didn’t matter what they thought; what mattered was what Julie wanted, and he was internally cursing himself for not prioritizing that in the first place.

What she felt should matter more to him than how her family felt about him.

For a moment, one long moment, he thought he’d convinced her.

And then a car pulled up behind him.

“Julie?”

He turned. Camille. Dammit. He’d forgotten that she and Freddy lived in this neighborhood.

Movement out of the corner of his eye, he turned his head to see Julie coming around the back of his car, heading for the passenger side door of Camille’s. Pausing before she opened the door, she turned to look at him. Tears filled her big brown eyes, though none had spilled over yet.

There was more than sadness in her gaze; there was disappointment, and he felt it like a blow to his chest, making him want to crumble in on himself.

“We’ll talk later, okay?” she asked.

Dumbly, he nodded his head, no longer trusting his voice, not sure of what might come out of his mouth.

Stepping forward, Julie put her hand on his chest and went up on her tiptoes. Connor bent his head down to meet her lips for a brief, unsatisfying kiss.

Then she was gone, pulled away and into Camille’s car with the door closing behind her. She didn’t look at him as Camille pulled away, taking his heart with her.

“Everything okay, Connor?” One of Julie’s uncles called to him, concern clear in his voice.

Connor shook his head and waved at the man, getting into his car before anyone could come over to question him. No, everything wasn’t okay, and he didn’t know what to do about it except drive away and hope he didn’t make anything worse.

Julie

Staring at Camille’s dashboard, Julie felt the sobs she’d been holding back clawing at her chest like they could rip through her skin and break free into the world.

It hurt.

Everything hurt.

Knowing she’d hurt Connor hurt.

The fact that he hadn’t just given her what she’d asked for—twice!—hurt.

The way he’d spoken to her hurt.

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