Page 27 of Upon an April Night

Jamie stared at the screen as a drawing of a woman’s uterus showed a suction tube removing everything from within. Like a little vacuum cleaner, sucking the baby out of there. That’s what would happen to the tiny baby she’d just seen minutes before during her ultrasound.

Shannon’s voice edged its way into Jamie’s thoughts.

Could you go back to your life and pretend it never happened? … In our family, we believe every life counts, that God has a purpose for each person, including the babies not yet born, no matter how they came to be conceived. This baby is innocent, and it’s our blood. A part of our family.

She thought about the nurse telling her that surgical abortion was her only option, and Shannon’s words rang loud and clear.

You do have choices … Please don’t do anything you’ll regret. Duncan has the right to know before you make any huge decisions. It’s his baby too.

Mom’s words hit her next.

If you care about him like you say you do, if you want him to stay in your life, keeping this from him is the wrong decision.

Jamie trembled. Could she do this? Did she even want to?

The nurse returned then. “If you’re finished, you can return to the waiting room, and I’ll come get you when we’re ready for you.”

Jamie shook her head back and forth. “I’m sorry. I don’t know if I can do this.”

“If you’d like to speak with the doctor, he can answer any questions you have and go over the procedure with you as well.”

Tears burned her eyes. “I can’t. I can’t do it.”

“Would you like to discuss other options?”

Jamie brushed away the tears as she shook her head.

“I understand,” the nurse replied, and proceeded to lead her to the waiting room.

Pam gave Jamie a look of concern. “Is it over?”

Jamie walked right past her and out the front doors.

“Jamie?” Pam followed close behind.

“I was too late to take the pill, and they wanted to do it surgically. I just couldn’t do it. I saw the—” She broke down, and Pam put an arm around her as she led her to the car.

Jamie squinted through her tear-blurred vision at a figure leaning against the front bumper. “Mom?”

“I know you told me not to come, but I couldn’t stay home.”

Jamie didn’t say anything, she just went to her mother’s open arms and wept.

“I couldn’t do it, Mom.”

“It’s okay, sweetie.”

She cried and cried until the tears subsided and the shoulder of her mom’s shirt was wet through.

“Can I take you home?” Mom asked.

Jamie nodded weakly, hugged Pam, and headed home with her mother.

She stared out the window at the passing landscape, all the while thinking about the tiny little peanut inside her—part her and part Duncan. And for the first time since the day she found out she was pregnant, she let herself wonder if it was a boy or a girl. She thought about the vision she’d had of a baby with Duncan’s features.

She shook her head. Where were her thoughts taking her? She may have changed her mind about the clinic, but her situation hadn’t changed. She was still pregnant and confused and unsure of what to do. And Duncan was still marrying another woman.

The thought of telling him terrified her. How would he react? Would he be supportive? Would he be angry? Would he see her and their child as the one mistake that tarnished his perfect future? Her heart ached when she thought of a life without him in it. Especially if she had this baby.

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