Page 65 of Another June with You

“So this means no kids?”

“My body doesn’t release eggs like it’s supposed to. My doctor said I am very unlikely to conceive the old-fashioned way.” She lowered her head, almost looking ashamed.

“But you could?”

“The diet is supposed to help women who are trying to conceive have a more healthy … environment. But if the eggs aren’t there, well … no baby. Plus, I’m on the pill to regulate the periods, so yeah, I can’t really get pregnant if I’m on the pill.”

It was all starting to make sense now. “Wouldn’t you just stop taking the pill if you wanted to get pregnant?”

“The pills have helped so far. I was pretty miserable before, Micah. It sometimes went on for weeks, and I got really weak at times. I’m afraid of going through that again.”

He remembered how she used to get bad cramps and stay home from school for days. But she had always downplayed it. He never knew it had been this bad for her.

“What are the scars on your stomach?”

“I had a large cyst and had laparoscopic surgery to remove it.”

He took in a deep breath and let it out, suddenly scared at the thought of something being wrong with her. “This isn’t life threatening, right?”

“It can be. I’m at a higher risk for diabetes and some kinds of cancer.”

His heart skipped a beat. “But you’re okay?”

“I’m okay.”

The pieces suddenly fell into place.

“How long have you known?”

It seemed like an eternity passed while Micah waited for her to answer, and he realized he already knew the answer, even before she spoke the words.

“How long, Shannon?”

“I was diagnosed in August of 2001,” she whispered.

His head dropped back, and he looked up at the night sky, biting the inside of his cheek to stop himself from crying. This was what he had wanted to know all of these years. This was it. The reason she had broken up with him. He wasn’t sure what to say or do. His instinct was to take her in his arms and kiss her and tell her it would all be okay. But another part of him wanted to lash out. She had made this choice alone, without giving him all of the facts. Would it have changed things? There was no way to know how he would’ve reacted back then, but now …

The anger won out over the urge to comfort. “How could you not tell me? How could you keep something that important from me?”

“You don’t know how hard this was,” she mumbled.

“No, I don’t, because you didn’t care enough to let me share the burden with you. You decided. On your own. That’s not love.”

“Of course it is.”

He gritted his teeth as he stood and paced back and forth.

“I loved you enough to let you go.” Her cheeks were soaked with tears. “You had a better chance of having your dreams come true without me.”

“You don’t know that. Did you not hear a word I said to you? You were always with me. All these years. I could’ve been here for you. We would’ve gotten through this.”

“I come from a big family, Micah. A gigantic family tree with tons of branches on both of my parents’ sides. And it kills me to know my branch of the tree stops with me. I’m like a dead stub sticking off a larger branch, an ugly eyesore, while all the other branches grow and flourish around mine.”

“Shannon.” He sat down beside her again.

“And you … are you willing to let your family tree stop with you? It’s only you, Micah. It’s just you and your aunt, and you wanted this big family with lots of kids for us to raise and love and …” She broke down then.

The instinct to hold her kicked in, and he did just that.

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