Page 96 of Done with You

“I wish I didn’t.”

He scoffed. “Hey, you propositioned me, remember?”

“I did.”

“So …”

She shrugged again. “So what? It’s the twenty-first century. Women are allowed to ask for sex. They are allowed to make mistakes. All people are.”

“And I’ve apologized for mine, and yet that doesn’t seem to be enough. Who’s the hypocrite?”

“I’m not doing this. Just because you don’t drink, doesn’t mean you’re not self-destructive. There are other ways to destroy yourself other than substances. You make me mad so that I retaliate, which makes you mad. It reinforces your anger and self-loathing. It amplifies the guilt and the denial you’re drowning in. You need help, Aiden. An apology is a good start, but it’s just a Band-Aid on a gunshot.” Her eyes flicked to the door. “Goodnight.”

Then she slid into bed, pulled the covers over her body, and turned off the bedside lamp, rolling over onto her side to show him her back.

He stood there like a buffoon for a hot minute staring at her, waiting for her to roll back over and get mad at him, tell him to leave or say something snarky. But she didn’t.

Eventually, he had no other choice but to leave, closing the door behind him.

In her room he had removed the condom, tied it and stuffed it into a Kleenex. But when he went to the bathroom, he rolled it up in more toilet paper before tossing it into the bathroom garbage. Then he washed his face, brushed his teeth and went to bed.

You’d think he’d be able to sleep like a baby after draining his balls, but that wasn’t the fucking case.

Oona’s words cut him deep.

They cut right through him if he was being honest.

But the longer he thought about it, the more he realized she was right.

His anger faded and his epiphany, though slow to develop, came. He’d said as much to Joy earlier that day. That he was constantly trying to push Oona’s buttons and yet he didn’t know why.

But Oona had figured it out.

Of course, she did, though. She was a brilliant therapist and had probably psychoanalyzed the shit out of him.

And even though that scared him half to death, he also knew she was right.

He needed to apologize with more than just words.

Actions, too.

Otherwise, he’d never make progress. He’d never get back on the force.

Tomorrow.

He didn’t know how, but tomorrow he was going to start fixing things.

He just hoped it wasn’t too late.

Chapter Nineteen

The next morning, it was too cold and icy to go for a run, even though the sky was blue and the sun was bright, which just felt like Mother Nature was mocking him. But Aiden decided not to let that get him down, so he asked Jordan to drop him off at a gym nearby. Jordan took him to his gym and the two of them worked out together. It was weird and kind of awesome pumping iron next to his brother, spotting him when he did bench presses and racing him on the adjacent treadmill. It brought back decade’s old memories from when they were teenagers and would do the same thing in their small town in Quebec.

“I, uh, I need to apologize,” Aiden started, as they lowered the speed on their treadmills after a ten-minute uphill sprint. His lungs burned, calves screamed, and quads trembled. It was a good, masochistic feeling that he found addictive.

“Yeah?” Jordan asked, squirting water into his mouth from his water bottle. “What’d you do now?”

“Just for everything. How I behaved at the bachelor party—at least the end of it on the bus. How I treated Oona. And even for what happened with us … you know, back then. I’m your big brother. I shouldn’t have let that tear us apart.”

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