Page 96 of Snitches and Serpents

Because she is still the reason that I’m trapped in crippling debt to Rob Bracken, which will impact my future for years, if not decades, to come.

And I’m not sure if I will ever be able to completely get over that.

33

ELLE

Staring up at the ceiling of my dorm room, I try yet again to sort through all of my emotions. I came to Bercester U thinking that it would be my fresh start. My chance to finally live a life free from the pressure of always having to be perfect. But when I got here, I did exactly what I would’ve done back in our hometown. I joined a sorority, just like my mom wanted, and I kept up my perfect image by always dressing and acting and performing with nothing less than perfection. Just like my dad wanted.

But then he happened.

Tristan Kane just barged into my life, kicked down every door and broke every window until my entire life was nothing but a shattered, unrecognizable mess. Until I started acting and behaving in ways I never even would have dreamed of doing before. Until I didn’t even recognize myself anymore.

And I’m glad he did.

The thought still stuns me every time it passes through my head.

I’m glad that Tristan ruined my perfect life. I’m glad that he pushed me out of my comfort zone and forced me to live in the messy life outside the perfect little box I have always kept myself stuffed inside.

Because I finally feel like I have started to become my own person. To figure out who I really am. Underneath that fake, perfect façade.

I’m not there yet, because it takes time to undo years of emotional manipulation. But I’m working on it. I’m finally moving in the right direction. The direction that I want to continue in.

And it all began because Tristan decided to ruin my life.

A baffled laugh bubbles out of my throat, and I press my palm against my forehead. The whole idea of it is absolutely absurd. But I suppose that that’s exactly what life is. Messy and strange.

Sitting up, I reach for the phone on my nightstand.

I might not know where to go from here, or what Tristan and I are to each other anymore, but the one thing I do know is that I’m done being a spy.

Determination pulses through me as I call John Smith.

Ten signals pass before he finally answers.

“I thought I told you not to call me,” he says by way of greeting.

Since he is being rude, I don’t bother with a proper greeting either and instead simply get straight to the point. “I’m out.”

“Out of where? The gym? What was inside?”

“Nothing. It was literally just a gym.” I blow out an impatient sigh. “But that’s not what I meant. I’m out of this arrangement. This deal we have. I’m done.”

Deafening silence falls on the other end of the line.

My heart patters in my chest.

“You’re done?” he demands at last. Anger and disbelief drip from every word. “What the hell does that mean? You can’t be done.”

“I am.” Even though he can’t see it, I keep my chin raised and my spine straight. “I agreed to this deal because I needed protection. I don’t need it anymore. So from now on, I will not be reporting any of Tristan’s movements or anything else about him to you.”

“You can’t just quit.”

“Yes, I can.”

“We’re not nearly even. Do you have any idea the kind of risks I’ve taken to make this deal with you?”

Guilt twists in my gut, and the people pleaser in me is telling me to apologize.

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