Page 128 of Cruel Dominion

“Six years ago…” She trailed off.

I waited.

“Did you take a bribe from my dad?”

“I did,” I said and felt her break all over again, even if she kept an even expression.

“I did something,” I started to explain. “You remember how my dad was gone for a while? Well, he came back.”

The memory was so fresh, I could still remember the feel of that fucking hammer. I clenched my fists, the ground feeling like it was starting to move under me.

“What happened?”

I wrenched my eyes open to look at her. She was looking at me now, that adorable knot between her brows.

“I killed him.”

Her lips parted, betraying her surprise.

“That’s when he showed up, and it wasn’t the first time. I should’ve told you your father came by when it first happened. He tried to pay me off to break up with you. I said no. Of course, I said no. But after that…he was having our house watched, waiting for just the right moment and I handed it to him on a silver fucking platter.”

I wasn’t looking at her. I didn’t want to see the moment where she stopped just hating me and started fearing me too. I wouldn’t be able to take that.

“I was screwed. They barged in and I was—I was crouched over him with the fucking hammer in my hands and his—his fucking head was all…”

“The photos,” she muttered to herself and my jaw ached from clenching so hard. He fucking showed her.

I licked my dry lips, needing to explain. Make her understand.

“If I went to prison, there would’ve been no one to help my Ma. She would have died alone and in pain and probably starving. After the shit she’d already been through…”

“Oh my god.”

“I regret it,” I told her. “But it bought my Ma one more good year before the cancer came back and took her.”

“He blackmailed you.”

“Pretty slick, honestly. I can tell why he’s been so successful in his political career.”

She didn’t say anything for a few moments.

“Your mother’s treatment,” she said finally. Smart girl.

“That was the original offer. As much money as I needed for my mother’s treatment at the best hospital in the city, no matter how long it took. All I had to do was give you. The second offer came with an extra payoff that meant I could give her comfort and stability, too.”

She went quiet again. I wanted her to say something, but I wasn’t sure that I really wanted her feedback, now that she knew. She stood up, pacing.

That wave from six years ago hit me again. It was smaller, didn’t knock the air out of my chest like last time, but it was still the same. The feeling that I had made the biggest mistake of my life and that the only person I cared about besides my mother was gone.

“I tried to figure out where you went. Each year you didn’t come back, I was searching. You took something from me when you went.”

She stopped pacing. “And you took nothing from me?”

“That’s not what I?—”

“When I left, I did a double take at every tall, brown-haired guy I saw because I thought they were you. I tried so fucking hard to get away from it, to forget you but never did. So, yeah, sorry if I don’t feel bad that you were hurting.”

I scoffed, looking down. I deserved that.

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