Page 75 of Cruel Dominion

So then why wasn’t I?

I was angry. So so fucking angry at first, until I realized I should’ve been scared and sat there in the dark closed-in space wondering why I wasn’t.

Why when he said he needed to punish me, I got excited.

God, what was wrong with me?

“I don’t know about you, Anna, but I need breakfast,” Summer said, interrupting my thoughts.

As if on cue, my stomach growled.

“What if I said I had a mean souffle pancake recipe that I want to try out on you two?” James asked.

Okay, so he was perfect.

I would roll my eyes if I wasn’t so happy for Summer.

James gave me his address and I got into the car with David to drive me to his apartment, knowing Carter’s men wouldn’t be far behind us, even if I couldn’t see them.

James and Summer didn’t live together but arrived together that morning. He lived in a condo not far from the medical center. David took me to his address, no questions asked. I knew that that address was all he would need to put together an entire dossier on James if my dad wanted to know where I was and with whom.

No need to worry, though. Daddy would take one look at James’ file before giving it his stamp of approval. This was exactly the kind of man he’d approve of.

David had had to collect the car I left outside of Jaden’s studio. I was under no illusions he would keep my indiscretions to himself when I’d needed to explain where I left it. So, when my dad asked where I’d been, I didn’t lie.

I didn’t need to protect Carter anymore.

And I knew it would piss him off.

It brought me an insane amount of joy to watch his face pale and slacken as I told him, ‘Oh, I was with an old friend. Carter. Remember him? I think that pathetic boy might be wealthier than you now, Dad.’

God, he hated Carter back then. He still hated him now. I saw the hostility every time they were forced to make nice at events and the feelings were mutual.

I closed my eyes, pressing my face against the cool glass of the window.

Why had I stayed when he let me out of the trunk?

I was still so fucking weak. Still his little toy. I barely knew my own name when I was with him.

Inside me, somewhere deeper, I felt an ache.

I saw his face between my legs, brown eyes like liquid amber the first time he tasted me.

And later, when he took my last first and they all officially belonged to him.

It all came back, but the ache bled for the ugly parts.

The memory of his face twisted in anger and contempt as he told me he didn’t give a shit about me. I was just a worthless fuck. The wrenching pain of that moment and the darkness in the aftermath. I almost didn’t survive it.

After I left home, even with the money I’d been squirreling away for Carter to keep me fed and sheltered for a while, I was so. Damn. cold.

So empty.

It was a good thing there was no ocean in Missouri, or I’d have thrown myself in it.

I needed to stop. When we were together, it was easy to forget what he did, but after…

It was all I could remember. If I let him get his claws in me again, he’d really tear me apart this time.

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