Page 49 of Cruel Dominion

I pushed my hands through my hair, gripping it at the root to try to pull the thoughts from my head.

I didn’t even want kids. Never really had.

But something changed tonight. As soon as I came inside her, I knew there was nothing in the world that would stop me from planting myself in her so permanently that she could never tear out the roots.

15

ANNA

Pulling my portfolio out of my bag, I nervously flipped through the prints. They were the same ones I showed to Olivia, the ones she swore had promise. But it was one thing showing my work to an old teacher. It was another thing to show them to a real photographer.

I lingered in the hallway outside Jaden Austen’s studio. We had an appointment in a few minutes, and I didn’t want to be too early. Olivia had done me a favor setting up this meeting, and I didn’t want to fuck anything up. I even brought him a good bottle of whiskey to show my appreciation for meeting with me.

Fuck. I hoped he drank. What if he was a recovering alcoholic or something?

I took a deep breath, telling myself that he could just say thanks but no thanks if he didn’t want it.

It wasn’t as if I could get much more embarrassed than I was last night. After I saw Carter at the gala, I planned to ream him out for having me followed. Instead, I let him shove his cock down my throat and fuck me against a wall.

And I loved it.

I fucking hated him. And yet I loved it.

What was wrong with me?

The connection between Carter and me never faded over all our years apart. It just corrupted. When he said obscene things to me, when he touched me wickedly, when he manipulated me…I felt cared for somehow. Like I belonged. At peace. Whatever the opposite of being judged was.

When I felt like the whole word was picking at me as if I were a fresh scab, when I was with Carter it was like their clawed finger couldn’t reach me. Not while I was in the clutches of the real monster.

But he didn’t pick and poke, trying to make me into some perfected version of myself.

No.

He wanted to ruin me. He wanted to see me let go and fall apart in his hands. He wanted me to be his beautiful disaster and not only would he not judge me for letting myself fall to pieces—he relished it.

Carter didn’t seem to be on the verge of discarding me, like he did back in high school. He was claiming me instead.

I sighed, rubbing the tense muscles at the back of my head.

Maybe it wasn’t Carter. Maybe I was the one who was fucked up, from years of picking the wrong men and letting them abuse me. Every time I gave into Carter, I chose the guy who wouldn’t treat me right. Keeping the pattern alive.

Well, that was done. Next time Carter showed up—and I had no doubt that would be soon—I was walking away. No more living in the past. It was time to think about my future.

And the first step to rebuilding my life was taking this meeting with Jaden.

I’d left the house an hour earlier than I originally planned, so I could sneak out the back door, swipe the keys to the car David was always driving me around in and take a roundabout route to the studio. Hopefully, I’d evaded all my bodyguards—Dad’s and Carter’s.

If my father knew I was going to show these photos—images that proved I wasn’t in Malawi—to anyone outside our home, he would lose his shit.

My watch’s minute hand clicked to the hour.

Okay, Anna, head in the game.

I pasted on a smile and knocked.

The studio door swung open seconds later, revealing a tall, smiling man behind it. Jaden was slender and wiry, and his dirty blond curls tangled wildly, like all his extra creative energy was released through them.

“Hey, you must be Olivia’s friend, Anna. So glad you could make it. Come in, come in.” He ushered me inside the spacious, brightly lit space.

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