Page 26 of Sexting the Silverfox

“Audrey, what’s the matter?” Jason asks, rushing to catch up with me.

I give him a faint smile and drop the bag in the chute, firmly shutting the latch immediately afterward, then breathe a heavy sigh of relief. “Nothing, babe. Like I said, girl stuff.”

“Okay …” he pauses to carefully analyze my expression. I suppose the time he spent in the military gave him an acute sense of character and an ability to identify certain things through body language. I’m not a good liar, as he so often likes to point out, so I’m worried. I force a smile as I look up at him. “I’m going to give you one last pass today because we’re both tired, but starting tomorrow, we will try a different approach. How does that sound?”

“I feel like one of my students,” I mumble, my cheeks catching fire.

“Not without reason, though,” he replies with a wry smile.

I look to the side and notice Rita and Lily watching us from the living room. I could tell him the truth right now. All of it. I could just spill everything from beginning to end and drop the pregnancy bomb in there, too, while I’m at it. But the fear of losing him, Lily, and Rita takes over, paralyzing me. I want to be around them for longer. I’m not ready to say goodbye yet.

I’ll have to leave eventually, if only to keep them safe. I understand that now.

There’s no way I’ll truly be able to relax and be happy with such a big, ugly shadow hanging over my head.

“Fine,” I say, nervously wringing my hands. “I’ve been meaning to talk to you, anyway.”

“Honesty is the best policy,” he says, still smiling. There is warmth in his eyes, kindness. So much patience. I know I haven’t exactly been the best girlfriend, keeping so many secrets from him.

“You said The Emerald is clear, right? New security staff, additional security measures in place, no new suspicious activity?”

“Right,” he mutters, giving me a curious frown.

“Well, as much as I enjoy spending all this time with you and Lily, as grateful as I am for your support, your hospitality, your … everything, maybe it’s time for me to go home. Since it’s been deemed safe, that is.”

My heart seizes in my chest as I await his reaction. I worry he might get upset, but then again, we’ve been together for less than two months. Moving in on a more permanent basis shouldn’t be happening anytime soon.

“I’ll support whatever decision you make,” Jason says, his tone calm and gentle. “While I love having you here, I don’t want you to stay if it isn’t what you want to do.”

“Don’t get me wrong, I love being here, too, but—”

“You’ve got your own place, your own life,” he interjects. “I get it. And it is perfectly normal and understandable for you to want to be back in your own space. But just so I’m clear, we’re not breaking up, correct?”

“God, no!” I blurt out, making him laugh, a lie that makes my heart hurt.

“Seriously, it’s okay,” he says, coming closer. He cups my face with both hands and pulls me in for a tender kiss. “I’ll take you back to your place tonight after dinner if you want.”

“Thank you,” I whisper against his lips.

I feel awful. It’s the first step I’m taking in what will probably be a painful separation process. I’ve never done anything like this before. No man has ever captured my body and my soul the way this man has, nor have I ever been so attached to someone.

Pregnancy is a massive issue, and I’m terrified of where all of these pieces will fall in the months to come. I may have to sell the apartment and take off again. The coast may be clear for now, but my family could try to get to me again.

I left New York behind for a reason, and I can’t, I won’t allow that reason to barge into Chicago and destroy Jason and Lily’s life because of me.

Chapter 11

Audrey

I’m back home in my haven, my place of warmth and comfort. My safe space with three locks on the door.

Nothing seems out of order; everything is just the way I left it. I’d missed my plush, soft sofa with one too many throw pillows and cozy blankets. My cluttered coffee table with its out-of-date magazines that I keep going back to when I need some fashion or beauty advice. My electric tea kettle and tea collection that I keep in a designated cupboard. My warm bed with its memory foam mattress … not that Jason’s isn’t superior in every possible aspect, but I’m used to my stuff, my place.

I’m used to being on my own, though sharing a space wasn’t bad when I really think about it.

I liked spending so much time with him. He’s a heavy sleeper, as am I, which made our nights tranquil and sweet when we weren’t riled up and rolling in the sheets. He enjoys cooking, and when he’s in the kitchen, there’s barely any room for Rita or me to help out, though Lily let it slip once that he had been cooking a lot more since I moved in.

And he’s just so gosh darn sweet. Jason likes to take care of me, of my every need, but not in a way that suffocates me or makes me feel incapable of taking care of myself. He’s the kind of man who adds value to a woman’s life, not one who inhibits it.

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