Page 53 of Troubles

“Good. I’m glad. She needs that. A spa day, then? A beach holiday?”

“I don’t know. I don’t think she said—I’ll have to ring her mum and see if she knows. But thank you for helping her with it. It was lovely of you to send her some money for that.” We catch up on all the family stuff and I prepare for what I hear at the end of every conversation.

“When are you coming home, Aidan?” We’ve talked about Lis, about my life here, but I’m daft for having not broached this yet.

“Mum, I—I’m not sure. I’m working on switching up my visa, planning on staying in the States.” I wait for the explosion, for the tears and pleading. All my siblings live close enough for Sunday dinner, and I’m not just telling her I’m moving out of Dublin. I’m telling her I’m moving an ocean away.

And like only she can do, my mum takes me by complete surprise responding, “I hope I get to meet her soon. She must be very special.”

“She is, Mum. She truly is.”

Lis

Aidan’s mom is adorable. I roll her pronunciation of his name around in my brain as I watch him talking to her outside. Eye-din.

His face lights up when he talks to her, smiling and laughing at the things they’re talking about. And it hits me just how much he’s giving up to live here—with me.

Because of me.

With a glass of wine in hand, I walk to the bathroom. While the tub fills, I dig through another box for my bath stuff and candles. The tub is huge—giving me plenty of time to arrange all my pretty bottles and candles on the windowsill.

I add my favorite scent under the stream of water and peel off my clothes as the churning water makes a mountain of bubbles. I turn off the lights and light a candle that I found on our trip. It smells like Aidan, filling the air around me with a mixture of our scents. The steamy water swirls around my ankles as I step in and sink down, letting the hot, gloriously hot, water surround and soothe me.

I stretch out as far as I can and turn the water off with my toe. The air is thick and quiet, the setting sun throwing cloud-filtered light through the bottles on the windowsill.

The colors dance across the bubbles and as I scoop them up and make piles on the surface of the water, my mind drifts to my family. My fucked-up, stupid little family. Their selfishness knows no bounds, and it would be so easy to stoop to their level and refuse to go to Maryse’s wedding. It’s the last thing I want to do, and they sure as hell don’t deserve a thing from me. Not one person who knows the real them would think badly of me for not going.

I used to wish that Maryse and I had the type of relationship that I do with Gracyn. Where we can talk about things, ask the hard questions, get mad at each other but still know that the other person loves you and everything will be okay. We have never had that.

Gracyn’s told me that Maryse is jealous of me, that she always has been. And my mom, too. That that’s the reason they’re so hateful. I’m not sure they know how to be happy. That they know how to think kindly of people and not put them down. That by putting others down, they are not actually lifted up and made better.

I have been so busy trying to survive them and their hatred, my whole life, I’ve never really taken the time to think how sad it really is. I swirl my glass and take a sip.

Aidan has a bunch of siblings, but when Michael got sick, Aidan dropped everything and went to be with him. I have one sister. One. I have to go to her wedding, be gracious and mature. I have to face my ex-boyfriend’s parents and congratulate them on their new daughter-in-law.

As the last of my wine slides down my throat, the door cracks open and Aidan steps in with the bottle of wine and his camera.

“Fucking gorgeous.” He kisses my lips and fills my wine, setting the bottle on the floor next to the tub. Pulling a lock of hair out of the pile pinned on top of my head, he drapes it over my shoulder, his fingers leaving a trail of goose bumps in their wake. “Look toward your glass, love. Let your eyes drift off though—yes—that, right there. Don’t move.”

His camera clicks as he takes shot after shot. Moving around the room, murmuring thoughts and directions the entire time. When it finally hits me that the camera shutter is silent, I look up to see Aidan step out of his shorts. As he stalks toward me, I slide forward making room for him to step in behind me.

I settle my back against his front, thankful for this man, the love I have found.

“Gonna print one of those and put it on the wall, right next to the one from the gardens.” His silky voice sends shivers through my body.

He slicks his hands down my arms, taking my glass from me. He drains it in one gulp and sets the glass on the floor beside the bottle. He skims his lips from my shoulder, up my neck, finally nipping at my ear.

“Turn around,” he rasps.

I grip the sides of the tub, steadying myself as I shift to face him. Aidan pulls me toward him until I’m straddling his thighs, the bubbles cleared between us. Droplets of water cling to his chest, trembling but not quite ready to slide down to the water. I reach out, tracing a design across each of the bulges and valleys of his muscles, playing an aimless game of connect the dots with the shiny little drips.

“This is where we live now. Just you and me.” My whisper muffled in the humid air surrounding us, my fingers dancing down his torso.

Aidan’s hands are heavy on my hips, his fingers pressing into the flesh.

“Just us.” I watch his tongue dart out and wet his lower lip. Those are the only words he utters, but his heated gaze and the hitch of his breath as I wrap my hand around his hardening dick speak volumes.

I stroke him slowly, almost lazily, languishing in the realization that we are well and truly alone. No roommates, no one. Just us.

---