Page 50 of Troubles

He has checked all the boxes. Every one of them would have a big old red check, if I had a list of things that a guy needed to do, to show, to complete in order to own my heart. He’s done them all. He has made me a priority at every turn. Always making sure that I’m okay, that I have what I need and then some.

Maybe he feels my brain working overtime, I don’t know. But he presses my hand firmly to his chest, the other hand twisting and sifting through my hair. Lulling me to sleep.

30

Lis

The smell of rich dark coffee pulls me from the kind of sleep I never knew existed. I stretch, feeling the twist of muscles I didn’t know I had.

“That’s an image I want framed on our wall.” Aidan’s propped against the wall, shorts slung low on his hips. I should be embarrassed by that comment—I would have been before him. But the first thought that pops into my head is that he said our.

Our wall.

We’re going to have our own walls, our own apartment. I pull the fluffy duvet over my head and wiggle further down in bed laughing like a fool.

The bed bounces as Aidan climbs over me pinning me right there with the covers I wrapped myself in.

“What are you doing, love?” The smile I hear in his voice consumes me when he pulls the duvet down, just uncovering my face. Squirming does nothing to budge him off me, not that I want him gone. The weight of him on me, being completely at his mercy, I like it—love it. “You’re hiding from me? How long do you think you’ll be able to get away with that?”

“Uh, probably just for a few more days? When do you get the keys?”

“We get the keys next week.” My heart. He has been so patient with me. So understanding of my hesitancy. And he’s still here, taking care of me, putting me first—loving me. “I ordered breakfast, hope that’s okay.”

He brushes a kiss across my lips, lulling me into that sweet sense of security. “You’re very vulnerable here.”

“I am. I'm at your mercy.” Sweet kisses rain down the side of my neck. I tilt my head, granting him more access. My body reacting to his, desire fluttering through me. I feel absolutely wrapped up in him.

“It would be a crime to let breakfast get cold, though. Why don’t you get comfortable and I’ll serve you?”

He hops off me with a smirk, and he throws me his shirt. Wait, what?

“I was perfectly comfortable.”

Aidan adjusts himself as he crosses to the tray. At least I’m not the only one who thought this was going in a different direction. I tug his shirt on while he lifts the silver dome, I all but forget my disappointment.

The room fills with the sweet savory smells of French toast and bacon. This is the last little snowflake that causes the avalanche.

Tears well up in my eyes watching him fix my coffee with the perfect amount of creamer. They start to fall as he adjusts the silverware on the tray. And I blink at them, smiling when he places the tray across my lap.

“You alright?”

“I couldn’t be any better.” I try to rein the emotion in and fail spectacularly. “You are so incredibly good to me, Aidan. I—I can’t begin to imagine what it is that you see in me. You keep breaking down my walls. I never thought—wasn’t looking for this—any of this. I think, I’ve tried to push you away more than once, but you stuck with me anyway.

“And you know all my favorite things—how did you know this was my most favorite breakfast? I’ve had it once, maybe, when we’ve been out. You picked my favorite apartment to rent, everything we do, everywhere we go—they’re all the things I love. You’ve done every little thing to take care of me.” I sniff hard and let the breath out, lifting my eyes to meet his. “I tried to fight it, but I love you. I tried to keep you out, but I can’t—I don’t want to. For the love of God, I'm ruining the sweetest moment ever.” The tray rattles on my lap as I press my shaky fingers to my lips. “I’m sorry.”

Aidan beams at me and swipes at the tears that have escaped my lashes. “Lisbeth.” He pulls my hand from my mouth, rubbing circles on my wrist. “I love you. That’s the answer to every question you have. Because I love you. You make my life better in every way possible. I sure as hell was not looking for love when I came to the States. I came to escape something that came out of nowhere—something I never dreamed I’d have to deal with yet. My brother was my best mate, and I didn’t think I’d ever get that back. You’ve given me so much more. I want you to let me love you, to show you every day that you’re the most important thing in the world to me. And you have nothing to be sorry for—nothing.” Careful not to topple the tray full of food, he presses the sweetest, most loving kiss to my swollen lips. “Just let me love you, yeah?”

All I can do is sniff and nod. I have no more words.

Breakfast is perfect. Aidan is perfect. Everything is perfect.

I know—know—there is no such thing as perfect, but all of this is as close to perfect as anything can get.

We spend the day walking through the little town of Madison, visiting shops, walking through galleries showcasing local artists and browsing through a book store. An actual real live bookstore. One that just sells books—no Starbucks, just books. Our pace is unhurried. There is nothing we have to do, nowhere we have to be, no school or work, no roommates. Just us.

There’s no time that we’re not touching in some small way. Holding hands, stealing kisses, wrapped up in each other. I love yous whispered against each other’s lips, making up for all the time I spent trying to protect my heart.

There was no need, he owns it. And after all the ways he’s shown me he loves me, I trust him with it completely.

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