Page 42 of Troubles

“I don’t know where I went wrong.”

“Did you have a row? Have things gone arseways wit’ the pair of you?”

“No, we didn’t fight. I told her I loved her and asked her to move in with me.” The words physically hurt to speak. Hearing myself say them out loud makes it all too real. I grab my glass and drain it in one go. And because this day can’t go any further into the jacks, the keg blows as I’m refilling my pint, spraying the dark sticky beer all over me.

“Fuck.” I slap the tap shut with a lot more force than it deserves. I rip the empty keg out like the whole thing is personal. And of course, the fresh keg I need is buried in the cooler under cases of bottled beer and other shite.

I tear through the cooler, stacking cases of beer, boxes of mixers, and bottles of liquor. I know I’m just a hair shy of breaking everything I touch. When I finally get a path cleared, I heft the fresh keg onto my shoulder landing it a lot harder than is necessary. The bruise will be a great reminder of this day I’d love to forget.

“I heard you back there, Aidan. Take a breath—think before ye go throwing that keg around, now.”

“Francie, I…Jesus, this is hard. I love her. I want to stay here—be with her—build a life. I thought I was doing that.” Now that I’ve opened my mouth, there’s no stopping the tide that comes spilling out.

“We went together, last weekend. Looked at a million bloody flats. I appreciate the loft.” I give him a pointed look, making sure he knows I mean it. “But I need some space. I need some privacy and some fucking sleep. Do you have any idea how loud those two are? Finn with his flavor of the week, and Jimmy…Jimmy’s just fucking loud when he’s?—”

Francie cuts me off with a sharp slap of the bar. Pointing his finger at me. “I don’t want to know any of that, yeah?”

“Yeah, and neither do I. I’ve got a good five years on them and I’m past that, done with it.” Francie chuckles and shakes his head. “What?”

He leans forward on the bar, emphasizing his point. “Sure you’re older than them. Those boys are the same age as Lisbeth.”

I stop dead in my tracks. Paralyzed by that bit of information. I think I already knew it on some subconscious level, but she seems so much older, more mature than them. “Christ, I…it’s easy to forget that. She’s got her shit so together, so capable. I forget she’s that young.” Maybe I did fuck this up.

“So. You asked her to live wit’ you and she said no?”

“She said she needed time. Needed to think about it and talk to Gracyn.” I lift the keg into position and tap it, standing back as I purge the line. I fill Francie’s pint, flip on the rest of the lights, and unlock the door.

He watches me, lips screwed up in a half smile, nodding his head. “That’s not no, then.” As hard as he’s pushed me away from her, Francie seems almost hopeful. The door opens and the noise of the street trickles in, glancing up I toss a hiya at the couple, waiting for the rest of Francie’s thoughts on this. “Our Lissy’s a smart girl. One of the best. She’ll take her time, yeah, but make the right decision—the right one for both of you.”

The guy that just came in huffs out a disgusted snort as the girl he’s with moves toward Francie. “So, where is my little sister? She’s not answering my calls.”

26

Lis

Ifeel like I didn’t sleep at all last night. There were too many thoughts racing through my head for me to relax and fall asleep. I sat for a long time looking at the ring he’d given me. It looks nothing like the Claddagh that Francie’s worn for as long as I’ve known him. This is so much more.

I twist it around my finger—around and around—sliding it off.

“Hey, you up?” The smell of fresh coffee wafts into my room as Gracyn knocks and cracks the door. “I didn’t expect to see you back here this morning. Everything okay?”

I slide up toward the headboard as she hands me a mug and settles in next to me. “I’m okay.” I fumble with the mug and trying to get my ring back on before I drop it in my covers.

“What the hell is that?” Gracyn grabs my hand and pulls me toward her, spilling coffee on my white duvet. It’s not a typical Claddagh—not like any that I’ve seen before. There’s a red stone in the shape of a heart, my birthstone maybe. And the silvery blackish metal that makes up the rest of the ring has small diamonds set in the crown. “Lis?—”

“I know. I kind of freaked out a little when he gave it to me. But it’s not an engagement ring, obviously.” I can’t take my eyes off of it.

“But it could be, right? It means different things on different hands and which way the crown faces? God, it’s gorgeous.” She pulls it closer and spins it around my finger sliding it off again. The sun streaming through the window hits the stones, scattering dots of light and color across the wall. “So why? Why are you here? Why did this date end with me drinking coffee in bed with you? Instead of eating a bowl of cold cereal on the couch by myself?”

I set my cup down on the table next to my bed and take my ring from Gracyn, turning it over in my hand. I have been all over the place thinking about last night. Thinking about what Aidan said, what he asked. That he’s staying for me—for us.

As the words tumble out of my mouth, I run my feet up and down the sheets. “He asked me to move in with him. He said he’s staying and he loves me. He asked me to move in with him.” My nose scrunches up as I grit my teeth waiting for her reaction. Really, I want to not lose my shit.

Saying it out loud feels different. It makes my heart flutter and I can’t sit still. My knee starts bouncing and I chance a peek at her face.

“Oh, Lissy, that’s good, right? Are you gonna do it? Move?” Her wide eyes search my face.

“I told him I’d say yes soon.”

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