Page 34 of Troubles

“Nope. Hand me your laptop.” The look on Aidan’s face as he answered his phone earlier is replaced with the memories of ink marking his skin and the look in his eyes as he broke through my barriers. I log into my university account and take a big gulp of wine. “Ready?”

“Yeah. Go.” Gracyn buzzes, almost as tense over my grades as she is over hers. “What do you need to stick with it this summer?” She’s practically bouncing with nerves.

“Anything over a B, and I should be okay. I just…” Gracyn jumps and almost spills her wine when I screech. Almost. “I got an A—holy shit.” I bite my lip trying to suppress the huge smile that wants to take over my face. “G, I’m gonna make it. Oh my God, I’m gonna do this.” Eyes huge, I split the rest of the bottle between our glasses.

“Yeah, you are. I never doubted you,” she says with all the sincerity in the world. I’m the one with all the doubts and fears of failure.

I set her laptop on the coffee table and let out a huge sigh of relief, nestling myself into the arm of the couch and shoving my feet under the throw blanket she’s got wrapped around her.

“And what about Aidan? Things are good there?”

The first thing that pops into my mind is the call he got—the frustration and concern etched across his face. He hasn’t responded to my text, yet.

“I think, yeah. I haven’t seen him since Friday, but yeah. He was incredible helping me…study?” I didn’t mean for that to come out as a question. “He takes care of me. Makes me feel like I’m a priority to him. I think my trust—my comfort?—is important to him.”

I grab my phone from the table and send him another message before dropping my phone in my lap.

“Yeah?” I know for sure that she’s concerned for me, but her questioning it makes my glass pause on my lips. “What’s the plan there? Is he staying, Lis? In the States? Or is he going back to Ireland?”

I check my phone for a message I know isn’t there, lower my glass, my gaze falling to the loose thread in the blanket.

“I don’t know. We haven’t really talked about that. It’s been all about me—my needs—my…”

“Don't you think you should find out—before it’s too late?”

Deep breath in, I tilt my head back against the side of the couch.

“Lis?”

The air rushes out of my lungs. Thoughts are racing through my head. Pinging around inside my brain. “This is just a distraction, remember? It was your idea,” I whisper.

“I…just don’t want you to get hurt. Talk to him. Don’t set yourself up for heartache again.”

My eyes drop from the ceiling meeting hers in an intense stare.

Gracyn raises her hand, palm out while she rationalizes. “Not that I think for a minute he’s going to go fuck Maryse behind your back, but what’s he doing here? Where is his head? You need to talk to him. Soon.”

“Yeah, I know.” Not much about tonight’s sitting well with me. “What about you, G? You gonna sit there and tell me I need to protect my heart, when…”

She cuts me off with a snort. “Dude, really? I’ve got your fucking back—I’m just looking out for you.”

“When you’ve been off since spring break, Gracyn.” Not good. I don’t want to do this with her. I hate fighting. “What’s up with your shit?” Trading my wine glass for her laptop, I open Facebook and search her timeline.

“What are you doing? Stop, Lis.” Her feet push at me and I have to grab at the computer to stop it from hitting the floor.

“Look Gavin up, do a search. Have you looked for him at all?” The heat rolling off her glare is scorching. “I love you, and you know I appreciate you looking out for me, but what about you? For the love of God, G—what’s the deal? It’s been months and I still find you staring at his picture on your phone, but you won’t look for him? Contact him?” It’s totally ridiculous that I’m getting this pissed.

Deflecting? Probably, yes.

“What if he’s in the area? What if he’s thinking about you as much as you’re thinking about him?” She’s blinking way too fast for that to be anything other than tears she’s fighting. “Gracyn. What’s the name of his band?”

“The UnBroken.” She practically whispers it. “But I don’t want to know. The timing’s bad.”

“The timing is only bad because you won’t let it be anything else. I care about you too, you know. And you’ve been moping for months.” There are a ton of posts on Facebook for the band—they’re tagged all over Instagram—all over. “G, they were just here last week. They were the band that played the college summer series. Did you know?” She refuses to make eye contact with me. She absolutely knew. “You knew he was here and you took all my hours last week.”

“You needed the time off to study. This class is important to you.” I don’t know what to even say to that.

“Don’t you dare twist this and make it about me. You know someone else could’ve worked the bar. Using me as an excuse makes you sound like my mom—and you don’t want that—I know you don’t.” My mother has been manipulating shit my entire life. Anything to make Maryse look good. “Gracyn, I love you, but that’s just wrong. I’m…I’m going to bed. I can’t…forget it.” The air in the apartment seems to have shifted. The tension is high and I’m pissed.

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