Page 21 of Troubles

Pouring drinks and mixing cocktails will give me just the right amount of monotony to work through my thoughts and feelings without having to face them directly.

L: Can we meet up tomorrow? It’s going to take everything I have to make it through tonight with my head still pounding.

A: Right. I’ll try to get time in the morning. We can hook up whenever and then I can make some prints.

L: Is that a spectator sport?

A: …?

L: Can I watch you work?

A: I’ll text you a time.

His last response takes a lot longer than the others. I don’t have time or energy to try and figure out why. Gracyn’s pushing me out the door and I have to force my brain to switch gears to get through the night.

Sadly, my plan for work taking my mind off Aidan and the past couple days, totally backfires. It’s really slow for a Saturday night and I have way too much time on my hands. He’s all I can think about and Jenna’s not even here to distract me. Why the hell did I need to come in tonight? My mind is spinning. I really like him. I have fun every time we’re together and he’s so sweet to me—opening doors and always making sure I’m okay—I should try to trust him. Give him a real chance. Maybe he won’t let me down.

When the night is finally over, I shoot Gracyn a grin. “Nope, not drinking tonight. I’m going home, crawling into bed, and sleeping yesterday off.”

“Yeah, I kinda figured,” she chuckles. “So, you haven’t told me anything about the past two days with Aidan. I mean, obviously you got shitty yesterday, but what’s going on with you guys?”

We grab our bags and walk out the back door.

She’s pushing for info. She’s been really off since spring break and I haven't wanted to bug her. “I don’t know. I’m scared.” I hate admitting that, but my fear is honest.

“Lis, you have to try eventually. You know that, right?”

Of course, I know that. It’s all I’ve thought about tonight. “I do. It’s just…” God, this is hard. “…I can’t do it again. My heart can’t handle the idea of breaking again so soon.” I try to hold my tears back, but they just have to break free. Swiping at my cheeks, I try to pull myself together. Getting emotional goes hand in hand with being tired and I’m so there.

Gracyn hands me a tissue along with the start of an epic pep talk. “Lissy, he’s been nothing but kind and considerate. You need to give the boy a chance. He fought Francie, has taken you out, respects your commitment to school and took care of your drunk ass without taking advantage of you—because let me tell you—he so could have taken whatever he wanted last night. You asked him to, multiple times. But he tucked you into bed, made sure you took something for your headache and that you had water. You don’t want to compare, and I get that, but Rob wouldn’t have done any of that, even on his best day. Aidan’s different.” She’s totally right. “Tell me about today. What did you guys do?”

Sighing, I stare out the window. “He took me to the mansion for a picnic. Packed the most amazing food, and…”

“What?”

“I swear he watched me sleep for a couple hours—not in a creepy way, but just really sweet. And then we went for a walk to the reflecting pool.”

“Dude. That’s your favorite place. Did he know?”

“I don’t know. I think I was babbling about it last night at McBride’s.” I can’t believe I’m spilling this. “And he brought his camera. He…he took pictures of me.” I drop that on her as I get out of the car and pray she leaves it alone.

“He what?”

“He took some pictures of me in the garden. He’s a photographer, so, you know. It’s no big deal, just…” I shrug as I open our door. And my phone pings. “It was nothing. You can have the bathroom first, just hurry. I need to be done with today.”

Gracyn does her thing and is out the door in record time. She seems like she’s getting back to her normal self—her before-spring-break self. I don’t know what changed with her today. I’m just relieved to hear the lock click and finally be alone.

I take the longest, hottest shower I can stand. I scrub my hair, condition it twice, shave my legs and let the lavender scent calm and soothe me. The thick lotion I slather on after toweling off feels like heaven. Pulling on my shorts and tank, I hear my phone ping. Again. I totally forgot that I got a text earlier. And, evidently a couple more while I was in the shower.

A: I’ve got the proof sheet done. Want me to come by?

A: You still there?

A: The place looks dead. Did you close early?

A: Christ. Could you check your phone?

The dots start up again. He’s getting a little cranky; I’m not the only one who needs a good night sleep.

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