Page 13 of Troubles

9

Lis

Iam so glad I stopped at McBride’s on the way home. We have nothing beyond a bottle of wine and stale crackers in our kitchen. I half wish that Aidan wasn’t there though. I’ve done a pretty good job of avoiding him. I know I got scared. Talking with Gracyn about her trip reminded me that I need to stay focused. I have so much riding on school. Graduating early. Making this work. But he took care of me. I don’t really know what to do with that.

I learned really early on that depending on people leads to nothing but disappointment. My mom flaked out right after she divorced my dad. She needed to work on her—at least, that’s what she claimed. Really, she was pretty much done with being an adult and even though I was only seventeen, she decided I was old enough to manage paying the bills, going to the grocery store, cooking and cleaning. After all, she had raised me. Right. My dad drank away all of his money and my mother just didn’t have anything left for me after paying my sister’s tuition. I was used to Maryse being the priority. It had been going on for as long as I could remember.

I know I’m not good at having people help me. I can give without batting an eye. Doesn’t matter what it is, if someone needs help, I’m on it. Accepting it? Yeah, no. It had me rattled, or maybe falling asleep on a bar mid-day did that.

I move to take off my jacket and realize, it’s not mine. It was warm when I left the house last night so I just had my scrubs on. This is all Aidan—spicy, masculine. I hang it on the back of my desk chair and head back in to take a shower and wash away the hospital. I love what I do, but there’s a lot of gross stuff I deal with there and I do not want to bring it into my bed while napping.

The hot water feels amazing, soothing my sore and tired muscles. I fall into bed and wait. As tired as I am, I just feel restless and disconnected. Like I’m too exposed. I drag myself out of bed and put his jacket back on. I wrap it around me and crawl back under the covers surrounded by Aidan. After checking my alarm, I let sleep wash over me.

I could have slept for days, but by the time I get to work, I almost feel human. I dump my bag and Aidan’s coat in the back room and check the bar stock. Filling napkins and straws. Cutting up fruit. Checking the kegs and listening to the hustle and buzz of the restaurant on a Friday night.

Jenna pulls out a chair and sits at the end of the bar. “Hey. How’d your hospital thing go this week?”

“It was good. I didn’t love working nights. No…that’s not true. I actually loved the quiet hush of the hospital at night, but my body and brain are so confused right now.” Out of habit, I pour a glass of her favorite wine and set it in front of her. She eyes the deep crimson liquid and slides it back toward me, resting a hand on her belly. “But the people. Jenna, I love it. I love helping them and making sure they’re comfortable and settled and the…all of it. I love all of it.” I sigh and offer her a huge smile. She knows my dream—my nature—and how hard I’ve worked to get here.

“Sweetie, you will make the best nurse. The absolute best.” She winks at me. “I’ll let you change my bedpan any day.” I love this woman. She and Tony just found out they are having a baby and if everything goes the way it’s supposed to, I’ll be graduated and waiting on the results of my boards by her due date in January. I would love to be there when she delivers.

I look at the wine I poured and it clicks that my pregnant boss can’t enjoy her favorite drink for months yet. I really am tired. I grab a new glass and fill it with ice, a couple limes, a splash of cranberry juice, and soda water. Jenna laughs as she takes a long drink and looking longingly at the wine.

“I do miss a glass of wine. Tell me what else is going on. I feel like I haven’t seen you in forever. You still seeing that guy?”

I pick at my words, trying to sort out how I feel. “We went out to dinner, that’s all. I don’t really have time. I need to get through this year and pass my boards. Then…I’ll think about it.” It’s like I’m constantly trying to talk myself out of wanting to spend more time with Aidan.

She’s looking past me, over my shoulder, smiling at a customer.

I paste on my smile and turn to greet…Aidan. How much of that did he hear? “Hey. What are you doing here?” My heart skips erratically as I place a cocktail napkin on the bar in front of him.

“Thought I’d have you tend to my needs for a change.” His smirk is ridiculously sexy. I feel flutters deep in my belly. “I’ll have a whiskey, neat. And a menu.” I hand him a menu and turn to get his drink. Jenna’s having a full, silent conversation with me, one I’m trying desperately to ignore. I do catch the look she gives me when I grab for the house whiskey. She shakes her head, looks directly at the good stuff and nods, smiling her wicked little smile.

She and Gracyn have obviously talked about who I’m dating. Not dating—one date. And drinks and food at McBride’s. And today—how he took care of me. Dammit. I grab the bottle of Basil Hayden’s and a heavy crystal glass. Jenna gave me the go-ahead, whether she realizes it or not, so I pour him a generous glass. I fill a small pitcher with distilled water, placing it on a small plate with fresh lime wedges and mint. Jenna’s quiet laugh barely reaches me as she grabs her drink and heads back to her office. There’s no way in hell I’m getting away with avoiding the dating discussion with her now.

I place the tumbler in front of him and the small plate off to the side, turning it so the limes and mint are toward him. Presentation is everything—or maybe I’m putting way more thought and effort into this than is necessary—since I’m not interested, and I’m so focused on school. Right.

I take his dinner order and excuse myself to the kitchen to grab his salad and a breadboard. Tony yells as I’m on my way out, “Is this what Jenna ordered? Christ, she’s killing me with these pregnant cravings. She’s never had a rare steak in her life.” I lose the rest of his rant to the flare of the grill and his mumbling.

“No. She went back to her office, that’s for a…”

“For a special diner at the bar, Tony.” Jenna elbows me as she scoots past to grab a bowl of soup. “Lis is trying to impress someone.” She winks at me with a big goofy grin on her face. I just turn and walk away. Nothing I say is going to stop the inevitable teasing.

My heart flutters as I set Aidan’s place at the bar and serve his salad and bread. “What are you doing here, for real? I…I’m sorry I left with your jacket earlier. I have it in the back, let me go grab it for you.” I take a step back, but he reaches for my hand and stops me.

“Erm—don’t worry about it. I’m away this weekend. I’ve got to go into the city for a meeting. Do you want to go with me?”

“I can’t.” I really want to. “I have to work and get ready for finals, I have a ton of studying to do.” Why am I so disappointed? I have no problem telling everyone else that I’m not interested and I need to focus. I just can’t seem to convince myself. “I’ll be done in three weeks, maybe we could go then?” What the fuck? My mouth and my brain are so not communicating.

“Absolutely. We’ll go when you’re done.” His gaze locks with mine and I feel those fluttery tingles again. It’s like he can see deep into me. It’s uncomfortable—I don’t know if I like it.

I turn away to fill drink orders for the servers and a few other patrons at the bar, trying to give myself some space. I’m just so aware of him. I can feel his gaze on me. As I duck under the bar top to grab his dinner from the kitchen, I hit my damn head and muffle a curse. The soft laugh from Aidan doesn’t escape me and my cheeks catch fire.

I set his plate in front of him, and clear away the others. “Is there anything else I can get for you? Another drink?”

He gives me a quiet mhmmm as he cuts into his steak.

“Does everything look okay?”

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