“What?” Blair’s whisper-shout is loud behind the bar, and I shush her. “You slept with him?” she hisses.
“I almost slept with him. There’s a difference.”
“What does almost mean? Like…you kissed, or you got his pants off and freaked out?”
“You think I would freak out?”
My best friend rolls her eyes. “I love you, but yes, you’d probably freak out. I saw you that night he came in, remember?”
“Okay. That’s fair. But I didn’t freak out. It was very…mature. We slept in the same bed because his mom was visiting and he didn’t want her to know it was fake. I know,” I say at her raised brow. “He’s lying to his mother. And I am too. It’s not great. Anyway, we slept in the same bed, and when we woke up, he was tucked up against me and—” I shrug.
“Morning wood,” she says.
“Morning wood,” I confirm. Really big morning wood if the brief impressions I got were accurate. My stomach jumps at the thought that they were. That Theo is thick and impossibly hard every morning. I press a fist to my stomach. Oh god. I can’t go down that road.
“So one thing led to another…” Blair says, gesturing for me to continue.
“Sorta.” I look at my friend. “There’s another side to the list.”
“Another—oh.” Her eyes widen. “You never told me that.”
“Well, it’s embarrassing.” My face is getting hot even talking about it.
“And what, he’s helping you do it?” She scans my face. “Oh my god, he is. Holy shit.”
“Not all of it. Just some of it. He helped me buy some lingerie, and then there was a vibrator…so yeah.” I shrug. “He touched me. I didn’t touch him. It was just checking a box.” I grab a knife and start cutting limes, even though we already have a whole quart.
“Doesn’t seem like it’s just checking a box. What about the other items?”
“I guess I just won’t do them. I don’t know. I haven’t thought that far.”
You’ll have to divorce me first.
I wouldn’t admit it, even under oath, but Theo’s possessiveness was hot. Hotter than I imagined that sort of thing could be.
“So you wouldn’t sleep with him?” Blair raises a brow, and I look back down at the limes. My cuts are uneven and haphazard. Some pieces are too big to fit inside a bottle. I press my palms to the counter and push the rising hurt back down. The hurt I didn’t deserve to feel.
“He got a text, Blair.” I cut her a glance.
“A text—oh. A nude.”
“Yeah, more than one, as far as I could tell. Multiple women asking him when they were going to see him again.” And even though I knew this was Theo’s life, in that moment, I felt so cheap. Just like I did that summer I saw him with that girl.
“Asshole,” Blair mutters.
“He’s not an asshole. This marriage isn’t real.”
“Yeah, but they don’t know that. I don’t like the thought of people thinking your husband is cheating on you.” Blair’s voice is fierce.
“I could hug you.”
“Please don’t,” she says dryly, and I laugh. My best friend is not a hugger.
“He doesn’t text back, he says.” Blair raises a disbelieving brow. “And honestly, B, if he did?” I shrug, but I don’t feel casual. “It’s not my business. This is purely for show.”
“Purely for show,” she repeats. “So you’re not mad at him?”
“No. Definitely not. I mean, yes, things are a little awkward, but I’m not mad.”