Page 42 of Heart of Frost and Scars

10

Monty

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Every muscle in my body clenches as I watch them kiss her. Touch her. Fuck her over and over.

I drag a hand through my hair, fisting and ripping at the roots. Desperate to scrub the images from my mind, I try to turn away.

But I can’t.

I can’t fucking stop.

Darkness surrounds me, churning inside me, broken only by the moonlight filtering through the grimy, arch-top window.

I’ve never ventured into the unfinished attic space in my estate. Never had a reason. Until now.

Old furniture and forgotten belongings scatter around me, draped in sheets like ghosts in the gloom, with shadows looming in every corner.

I’m one of those shadows.

Hovering in the window with the cobwebs, I can’t look away from the open French doors of the guest house. Through them, I watch my wife. My young, vivacious, beautiful wife, spreading her legs for another man.

Two other men.

The night vision goggles make everything green and eerie, but all I see is red. I seethe. I claw at my head, grinding it against the window frame and gouging my scalp on the jagged edges.

Still, I can’t look away.

My phone is in hand, the thermostat app open. I adjust it again, making their room unbearably hot, forcing them to leave the doors open.

It’s ruthless and wrong, and I know it. But I thought it would make them go to sleep, so I wouldn’t have to watch. So I wouldn’t have to torture myself with the sight of her taking one dick after another.

Reading about it in her journal was a special kind of hell. But the night vision goggles add details she didn’t include, letting me see every graphic position, every moment of eye contact, every gutting thrust.

I see her erotic expressions as she takes them into her body, the way she blooms for them, glistening in the heat, unaware of my gaze.

Right now, Kody’s licking her face like an animal, uncouth and degrading. She climbs over him, straddling him. He wants her. I don’t have to look at the monstrosity between his legs to know how badly he fucking wants her.

I dig my fingernails into the windowsill, unable to breathe as he flips her onto her back and shoves her legs open.

It’s quick. Frantic. There isn’t a thought between them. He fucks her into the mattress while Leo watches. Not ten minutes after Leo finished in her ass.

The dirty, unfinished walls close in on me, the sense of isolation overwhelming. Suffocating. I hate myself for doing this, for needing to see her even if it’s from a distance, even if it’s like this.

My surroundings reflect my state of mind—dark, cold, filled with malicious shadows—trying to suck me in.

Kody puts his mouth at her ear and says something that makes her laugh.

The silence presses in on me.

When he finally rolls off her, she pushes herself up, wiping sweat from her forehead. Leo brushes the hair from her face and kisses her shoulder.

My heart aches with longing. I want to be with her, to hold her, to be the warmth beside her while she sleeps. But she doesn’t want me there.

She doesn’t want me.

I press my palm against the cool glass, trying to suppress the rage that threatens to turn me into my brother.

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