Page 181 of Heart of Frost and Scars

His words sting like a hard slap across the face. I know it’s a pipe dream, but hearing his outright refusal makes it hurt that much more.

“Like I said. I want the impossible.” I fiddle with the napkin. “I hate that loving them means hurting you and vice versa.”

“You still love me.” His expression softens, revealing the vulnerability he tries so hard to hide.

I don’t respond, but that in itself is an answer.

“I wish there were an easy solution,” he says.

“From where I’m sitting, there’s no solution. I will never choose one of you over the others.”

“Have you discussed this with them?”

“No.”

“If you do…” He exhales sharply through his nose. “Let me know how that goes.”

We continue our meal in silence, the food a blur of flavors and textures.

Whenever I glance up, I find him watching me with a look of awe, as if he’s seeing me for the first time every time. That look reminds me of what we had and what we could still have.

If I chose him over Leo and Kody.

That will never happen.

I’ll oppose it with every fiber of my being until my very last breath.

As the server clears away the plates and Monty pays the check, I play back our strange dinner conversation.

“Your plan to isolate me from Leo and Kody,” I say, “is that still in the works?”

“No. It’s making you miserable, and that’s the last thing I want. I’ll find another way to win you back.”

There’s only one way for us to be together, and he won’t consider it.

But I believe he truly wants me to be happy. He never stopped loving me, even after watching me have sex with Leo and Kody.

The more time I spend with him, the more he jeopardizes the effort I’ve put into scraping him out of my heart and erasing him from my mind.

Monty Novak was a billionaire playboy with a lot of secrets and even more pride.

Montgomery Strakh is a tortured soul in love, who admits his faults and fights for what he believes in.

He believes in me.

“Thank you for dinner.” I shift my hand, grazing my fingers against his. “You’re not a monster.”

“Invite me back into your bed.”

“Monty.”

“Do it. Let me fuck you.” In a blink, he captures my wrist and squeezes. “I’ll render you powerless.”

A throb hits my bloodstream, sending a frustrating rush of heat between my legs. I want to be held down and dominated by him again. I want his bruising kisses stuck in my teeth and his hand necklaces choking my air while he stretches my ass.

I just want…him.

If Leo or Kody had these thoughts about Sirena, it would gut me.

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