Page 55 of Witch You Weren't Here

‘Go.’ He grunted from behind and the car rocked slightly.

She glanced into the rear-view mirror as she pressed gently on the accelerator, building it. She could just see the top of his head as he pushed his shoulder against the back of the car. His grunts were getting louder, and the tyres were just spinning. Why wasn’t he using his magic to help?

‘Ugh. OK. Stop,’ he called out breathlessly and she watched him straighten and step back, pressing the heels of his hands to his eyes as his chest worked.

She stopped and got out again, this time being a little more careful, so she didn’t need rescuing. Harry looked like he needed someone to catch him.

‘It’s too heavy,’ he groaned. ‘And the ground’s too slippery. The car can’t find any traction.’

‘Why don’t you use your magic?’ she asked.

To his credit, when he dropped his hands, he didn’t look at her like the enormous hypocrite she was, having spent nearly a day avoiding or deflecting him whenever he asked her that exact question. He shook his head. ‘I can’t. Not on my own. I’m too tired.’

She looked at him properly then – not just with her crush goggles on – and realised he did look exhausted. And was it any wonder? He’d barely slept the night before. They’d been travelling nearly all day and he’d used his magic a number of times, most significantly doing the rune work for Leon, but also the umbrella, on the train with the little boy, and whatever surge he’d needed to avoid them crashing into the barrier. He’d piggybacked her across Amsterdam and then been the one to drive too because she was passed out. He must be really glad he let her tag along with him.

‘What are we going to do then?’ she asked. ‘Call the road assistance people?’

‘We’ll miss the ferry if we have to wait. Do you think you can summon enough of a push? If we work together …?’

She was already shaking her head.

‘Kay. Seriously? Why not? Is there a problem? Is that why you have that corn husk doll? Why you were outside Baba Yaga’s on Friday?’

She should have known he’d be familiar with Madam Hedvika and her damn corn dolls. He was at the centre of the magical community, he seemed to know about everything.

‘Regardless of whether there is a problem with my magic or not,’ she began stiffly, ‘it never would have been able to move a car. I’m just not that powerful. I haven’t practised enough.’ She let out a soft growl. ‘Look, I don’t want to get into this now.’

‘Have you got something better to do?’ he laughed incredulously. ‘We have to figure a way out of this and if we can help each other, why wouldn’t we? Isn’t that the reason we teamed up in the first place?’

She crossed her arms over her chest. ‘I’m aware you’ve been more helpful to me than I’ve been to you, all right?’

He gave a somewhat unhinged laugh and waved a hand at the car. ‘Hardly. That’s not what I was getting at. I just … If you’re having a problem, you can tell me. I might be able to help.’

‘You think you can help me more than Madam Hedvika could?’

‘No. But I know what you’re capable of when it comes to magic—’

‘Harry, don’t,’ she started, a pain in her chest twinging like an elastic band.

‘No, I know I haven’t been around you since your gift came in, but even before that I saw you wield magic. You were able to pick up spells I’d spent weeks practising, within a day or two. Whenever we mucked about with our magic – you were right there with me – utterly capable. So don’t tell me you’re not a powerful witch. Two years younger and still not tapped into your gift, you could do the same magic as me. I don’t think …’ He bit his lip as he looked at her, the expression in his eyes wary.

‘What? Don’t stop now. You’re on a roll.’

‘Whatever your problem is with magic, I don’t think it’s anything to do with the power you hold, Kay. I think it’s to do with how you feel about your magic. You were so looking forward to it coming in. And when it arrived, obviously it wasn’t … what you were expecting—’

‘Wasn’t what I was expecting? It tore my family apart,’ she choked out.

‘The magic didn’t do that,’ he said softly. ‘Your gift didn’t do that. It just exposed the problem that was already there. But you’re so twisted up with guilt about it, that you treat your magic like it’s a curse rather than a gift.’

Kay was breathing heavily, despite the fact he was the one who had just had an outburst. So much of that was true, but she didn’t want to hear it. Especially not from him, when he’d not even been around for her during that time. It turned out that even if you knew you’d been unjustified in feeling such an intense level of anger at someone for so long, it wasn’t so easy to put the habit of those feelings away. Especially when they were poking and prodding at a sore spot.

‘What would you know about it, Harry? You’ve spent a grand total of twenty-four hours with me since I got my gift. You don’t know anything about how I feel about it.’

He’d not seen her use her gift even once. Probably on purpose, now she thought about it. That was why he’d had to send the note. He’d been worried about breaking it to her in person, about having a conversation with her about needing to go to Edinburgh, because she would have been able to see how he felt about her, if she wanted to. And though she could understand now why he hadn’t wanted to risk that – if the strength of his feelings for her back then were to be believed – it still hurt to think it was true. Her gift had kept him away.

‘That’s fair,’ he replied. ‘But I do know what it’s like to be at odds with your magic. I know I’m so lucky to have a legacy like Biddi and the Ashworth line, but it took me a while to reconcile all that with also just being me. To get comfortable with it.’

Kay tightened her arms even further around her chest. There had been no time to ‘get comfortable’ with her gift or her magic, because as soon as it came in, it had blown up her life. It would have been like trying to get to know a terrorist. Everyone would have thought she was self-destructive and dangerous. Actively disregarding the damage she had done. That she could do.

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