Those words hang in the air between us for a long moment. They almost feel like a threat. I lift my gaze to meet his, trying to keep my face as neutral as I can. If my father senses even the barest hint of weakness, I will be out the door, no matter what. Even if I’m his son, he doesn’t put up with anything other than complete and utter commitment from the people who work for him. I might as well be an employee right now for all the emotion he’s showing me. But, like he says, emotion is only going to get in the way of doing what needs to be done. I have to push that aside and focus on becoming the kind of person who can keep this family business alive.
"I want to survive," I reply. "I’m going to. No matter what."
For the first time since I entered the room, a smile creases my father’s face.
Chapter One—Sophia
"Crap, crap, crap," I mutter as I double-check the time on my phone. There’s no way I’m going to make it to class in time at this rate, but I couldn’t just leave Tana to close up the coffee shop on her own.
I dart past a group of students crowding the hall, ducking beneath the enormous stone arch that leads to the history department. I’ve been looking forward to this lecture all week, a professor coming in from Europe to talk about the rise of women’s rights in the post-war period, and I will be damned if I miss it.
Panting, I reach the top of the steps that lead to the lecture hall. Everyone else is already inside, and I know I’m going to draw attention when I open the huge wooden door. Wincing, I plant my hand against the wood and give it a good shove anyway. I’m not going to miss out on this. I study here just like anyone else, don’t I? Just because I have to work to survive living at Gregora University doesn’t mean I don’t deserve to hear the guest lectures.
The whole room, it feels like, turns to look at me as I step through the door. The guest lecturer, Hanna Brown, peers up at me for a moment before she turns her attention back to her notes. I glance around and spot Rachel, my best friend, waving me over from the other side of the lecture hall. She pats the seat next to her and flashes me a grin, and I hurry toward her, ducking my head down to try and avoid the judgmental stares of everyone around me.
I slide down into my seat beside her and pull out my notebook, and Rachel nudges my foot in greeting, not wanting to disturb the lecturer. I manage a smile. I’m grateful for her, for the fact that she never has anything snarky to say about me turning up late. She knows I’m only here on a scholarship and that I don’t have the same cash to my name that everyone else seems to.
I focus on the lecture, trying to lose myself in her words. She’s a fascinating speaker, and the research she’s been doing on the rise of women’s domestic rights in Europe in the post-war period is genuinely inspiring to me. Sometimes, when I get a little too caught up in my own head, I remember all the women who came before me who laid the groundwork for me being able to go to university at all, and I vow to do everything I can to live up to their legacy.
Once the lecture is over, there’s an announcement that Hanna will be spending some time at the university that evening. There’s going to be dinner and drinks at one of the old college houses, and anyone who wants to attend is welcome.
"Oh my God, we’re totally going," Rachel whispers to me as we gather our stuff and get ready to leave. "I need a drink. Several, actually."
"I don’t know," I reply, pulling a face. "I’m really tired. And I have an early shift at the coffee shop tomorrow..."
"Oh, come on," Rachel giggles. "You can schmooze with Hanna. That’s got to count for something, doesn’t it? You can probably put it toward your grade average this year..."
I roll my eyes at her, but I can’t help but laugh. She’s right. It really does sound like a lot of fun, and I would love to have a chance to talk to Hanna, if only to tell her how much I admire her work.
"Okay, okay. I guess I can make some time for it," I reply, and Rachel fist-pumps.
"Yes!" she exclaims. "Come on, come back to my place, and we can decide what we want to wear. I have some dresses you could borrow, if you like..."
Thank God for that. I’m still trying to get used to just how damn fancy Gregora University is. Of course, I knew when I got my scholarship that it was one of the best in the country, but that didn’t prepare me for how upper-class practically everyone who goes here is. Everyone has a designer bag hooked over their shoulder, their clothes screaming old money, hair perfectly coiffed and make-up laid perfectly. It’s hard not to feel like a bit of a mess when I’m shuffling into morning lectures after a late shift with my hair still in the bun I slept in.
We make our way across the immaculately manicured quad in the center of campus as the sun begins to dip behind the large central hall before us. It’s a clear, crisp day, one of those beautiful early fall evenings that seems to burn bright with the possibility of the season to come. Death in time for rebirth. I can get behind that.
"How’s work?" Rachel asks as she hooks her arm through mine, steering me toward her dorm room. The two of us met when I was serving her coffee on the first day of classes, and she recognized me from orientation. She’s so sweet. She’d be able to make friends with anyone, never giving a damn about their background or where they came from. Sometimes, it feels as though she’s the only person here who feels that way.
"It’s... busy," I sigh. "I don’t know how I’m going to be able to keep on top of everything come exam season."
"Me neither."
I can’t help but laugh.
"Hey, thanks for the vote of confidence..."
"Honestly, I don’t know how you’ve managed it this far already," she replies. "I would never be able to do what you do. And you know, if you ever needed help..."
She trails off. I know what she’s getting at. I pause for a moment, turning to face her.
"You know I don’t need that from you, Rachel," I tell her gently. She hates seeing me struggling, and I can’t count the number of times she has tried to get me to let her pay for a month or two of rent. With the allowance her family gives her, it would hardly be any skin off her nose. But I’m too proud for that. I want to do this myself, if I’m going to do it at all, and I’m not going to let anything get in the way of that.
"Well, maybe apart from some fashion advice," she teases as she takes my arm again. "You think you can go to an event dressed like… that?"
I laugh, and we head back to her place so we can change into something a little more suitable. If there’s one thing this place does well other than studies, it’s the nightlife. Sophia offers me a few different dresses, but I settle for a forest-green one with a peplum skirt and a high neck. It’s a little demure, but I’d rather focus on actually getting something out of tonight instead of looking good.
"You look really gorgeous, you know," Rachel tells me, flashing me a smile in the mirror of her bathroom as we both get ready.