“I can’t wait to get out of here. Doesn’t a nice bath sound glorious? And a steak? One of those big steaks just dripping with juices?”
My mouth salivates, even though it’s been dry since we got here. Still nothing. He doesn’t even wince as I tighten the makeshift bandage. What happened to you, Sulien? This is more than just the effect of pain. They broke him.
How can anyone break a man like Sulien?
Looking at him like this hurts me, but I don’t have the energy to focus on what happened to him, the barrier, and keeping myself going. All I can do is help him, so I focus on each injury I’m trying to stop bleeding, one at a time. It’s easier than all the other stuff. Easier even than looking at his whole battered body.
I work silently, watching him. If his chest wasn’t rising and falling, I’d be sure he was dead. But I try not to think about that. Not with my head throbbing, my body aching, and my best friend’s wounds to tend to.
When I finish wrapping him up, we sit in a silence that unnerves me. Sulien’s not the type to give up. He’s not one for bowing or bending to anyone’s will. The Keeper of Death’s power over him is so strong. She’s done worse than killing him. She’s broken him.
“Think of Cassia,” I say. I don’t know where the words come from, but I’m shocked when his gaze flickers to me. “Think of our mate. Safe in your home. Her family protected. You did that for her. The moment she met you at that ball, everything fell into place.”
Somehow, just saying the words aloud makes me feel warmer. Stronger. The nagging weight on my chest, which I suspect is my connection to my mate, calms, feeling better. Happier. The feeling flows through me until all I can see is Cassia. Her long blonde hair. The soft curves of her face and body. The sparkle that leaps into her eyes when she’s teasing me.
When we get out of this, I’m never going to let her go. The House of Death might think it can break us, but we won’t. Not when we have Cassia to come home to.
“This is all my fault.” Sulien’s hoarse voice breaks through my thoughts. He speaks in a whisper that’s heavy with regret.
Frowning, I shake my head. “It’s not your fault. We all made this choice.”
He takes a ragged, wheezing breath. “I had a plan to get out of the mating bond. I didn’t want a wife. I didn’t want to be like him. So I had a plan.”
None of it’s a surprise. If we’re all a little fucked up, I’m pretty sure Sulien and Forrest are a whole lot of fucked up. Everyone knew Sulien’s mom killed herself. Everyone knew she hated her husband and her child. It’s no wonder that Sulien had hoped to create a plan to get himself out of getting married before meeting Cassia. And I don’t blame him for it.
“It’s not your fault. We’re all messed up. One thing that binds us is our deep desire to not become like our fathers.”
His breathing grows harsher, so harsh I want to beg him to stop talking. “Now, we’ll all suffer. For my mistake. We’ll suffer. Everyone.”
This place is destroying him on the outside, and he’s doing this to himself on the inside. I move closer to him, clenching my teeth as my raw back hits the room’s cold stone wall, and I shift him to lay his head in my lap, knowing this closeness will comfort us both.
Unsure what to do, I run my hand through his hair to soothe him. “This isn’t your fault. We all agreed to the deal. The Keeper is the one who took advantage of it.”
I still hadn’t quite figured this all out. The Keeper was abusing us to the point that when our courts came for us, they would execute a wrath unlike anything seen amongst the fae for hundreds of years. The Keeper would be lucky if the courts didn’t tear this castle down brick by brick and banish every last fae from the House of Death from our kingdom.
Why would anyone do something this stupid? Did she just want the chaos of what this fight would bring? Did she not realize how serious what she’s doing is? I have no idea, but the simple fact is that Sulien is not to blame for any of this. She is.
“All of this is the Keeper’s fault, and soon our courts will be here to make that clear to her. All we have to do is survive a little longer.” I’m still not sure how much time has passed, but it has to be a few weeks, at the least. Surely our people are nearly here. “You’re safe. All of this will be okay. Soon, we’ll be reunited with our mate and everything will be right with the world.”
I hope.
Sulien’s eyes flutter closed, and I stare at his chest to make sure it’s still rising and falling. It is, and it’s mirrored with the sounds of his breath wheezing in and out in a way that’s disturbing. In any other circumstances, the sounds his chest makes would alarm me, but for now, they mean he’s still alive and fighting.
“If I had told the truth, this would be over,” he says with a sigh, so softly the words are no louder than a whisper, before drifting off again.
I stay by his side, feeling useless, unable to solve any of his problems. I think about what he said about telling the truth. I don’t know what he wasn’t honest about, but secrets and guilt are a huge burden to carry alone. I hope that if and when the time comes, he can summon the courage to tell the truth. What do they say? The truth will set you free.
Something like that.
It’s easy to keep running my hands through his hair. Soothing in a strange way. After so much time alone, I’ve been missing any touch. Any sounds that other people make. I just wish I’d found Sulien in better shape.
I let out a deep sigh and watch my friend, who’s broken in every way possible. We’re all in so deep, and the only one who can really fix this is our mate. Because even if our courts come and we’re free, we won’t really be right again until we have her.
I’ve never thought a woman could fix all our problems, but I think she can fix ours. Somehow.
THIRTEEN
Cassia