He murmurs an agreement and settles against me, his breath hot against my neck.
As I fade into a blissfully dreamless sleep, I wonder how I’m going to navigate all this.
Kael isn’t the guy I thought he was.
It’s been a week since I had that dream that brought Kael to my bed. I’ve been doing my best to stay awake ever since.
I don’t need him thinking he needs to baby me anymore than he already does.
My eyes are heavy, but I’m afraid to go to sleep. I hate the nightmares that I have over and over, how nothing ever changes. I’m never able to escape. It always ends the same way.
It’s late when I walk into the kitchen to make a cup of tea. I blink when I find Kael sitting at the kitchen table. Thank god he’s put on a shirt.
“What are you doing up?” My voice’s raspy from sleep.
He shrugs. “Can’t sleep. You want some tea? I made a pot.”
“That’s exactly what I need.”
I walk over and pour myself a cup, putting in a few sugar cubes.
I sip it as I sit down at the table across from Kael.
“Not tired?”
“It’s not that,” I mutter. “Just don’t want to go back to sleep.”
Kael hums. “Because of the nightmares?”
I freeze, my shoulders stiffening, but I don’t answer.
He raises an eyebrow but doesn’t protest.
I hate that I have those horrible nightmares. I hate waking up in a cold sweat. I hate remembering the horror of it. It feels like I should be over it by now. I feel weak and stupid. And I particularly hate that he heard me screaming myself awake twice now.
But I can’t say that to Kael. I trust him with my life, but I don’t know if I trust him with my heart.
“You wanna play a game or something? How about poker?”
He snorts. “Poker? You’d have a terrible poker face.”
“Try me.”
He frowns. “You need to sleep, Paige.”
Sleep is the last thing on my mind when I know I’ll just be having another nightmare. I want to stay awake as long as possible.
“Just a few hands,” I plead. “I’ll cook dinner tomorrow.”
“But you can’t cook!”
“I’ll figure it out. I’ll ask Marisol for help. Just play with me, dammit.”
He shakes his head. “I don’t think it's a good idea.”
I huff out a breath. “Why not? What could possibly be wrong with playing poker?”
Kael groans. “I’m tired. You’re tired, too. You should go to sleep. Get some rest.”