Page 6 of Vengeful Guard

“Mo leanbh…”

“I have to go, Ma. But I will come back later to spend more time with you. Now that I’m back, I hope to stick around for a while, okay?”

She sighs, shaking her head. “Fine, run away. But we will talk about this need you have to run away from love one of these days.”

“Sure, Ma.” When hell freezes over or pigs fly, whichever comes last.

I get up, and she gets up with me.

We head to the door where I hug her tight again.

I know I’m a disappointment as a son, but it is what it is. I can’t in good conscience bring anyone into this life. Put a target in the back of a head other than my own for something that is a lie. A lie people call love. An excuse to cheat and hurt each other.

I open the door, ready to leave, and Ma grabs my hand.

“I’m serious, Kael. I know you think love is something awful or something to scoff at or something to despise, but it makes the world a better place, a brighter place. And you deserve it just as much as any other person.”

“Thanks, Ma. We’ll talk later.” I kiss her cheek and leave her house.

The door doesn’t close until I turn the corner, until I get out of sight.

My heart squeezes, cracking a bit.

I’m hurting my ma, but I can’t risk it. She will have to forgive me, but I will not budge on this one thing.

I’ll never get attached to anyone, never put myself in that position.

I head to the gym. I need to clear my head, to beat something or someone up. To get my mojo back.

These sessions with Ma always drain me, and I need to be on top of my game in case Declan needs me.

As I get in my sports car, I let my head wander for a second. I try to imagine a life with a wife, kids. But reality is too dark for me to be able to.

I shake myself out of it and start the engine.

I put my car in drive and pull out of my parking spot. Time to face the real world with all its grime and darkness.

No use living in a dreamworld when no good thing will come of it.

I grunt as I bench press two hundred and sixty pounds, doing ten reps before putting the bar back on the rack with a clang.

My head has been screwed on backward since the talk with my ma two hours ago, so I’m not stopping until I can’t lift my arms anymore. Until I can’t think anymore.

It’s only now starting to work. Muscle exhaustion and pain are making it hard to think. To focus on anything other than the sting.

I stand up and flex my biceps as I face the wall-length mirror.

This last long-term job for Patrick Burke put me back a bit, so I’ll need to focus on working the muscle up again.

This session helped. I’m definitely making some gains.

My phone starts buzzing.

I look at the screen. Declan.

It’s been a while since I’ve seen my best friend, my boss’s son. More specifically, since his wedding two weeks ago. He should be back from his honeymoon by now.

“Hey, stranger,” I answer, and he snorts out a laugh.

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