Page 5 of Vengeful Guard

Even when I know nothing will ever be right in my world again.

2

KAEL

I’m the worst son ever.

I’ve been back in town for two weeks now, after months away, was able to go to my best friend’s wedding, but I haven’t spent any quality time with my ma.

And we live in the same building, which makes it even worse.

Feck. I suck.

Going to her door, I knock.

“Coming!”

Just her voice through the door has an overwhelming sense of peace blanketing me.

When she opens the door, her face beams as her gaze meets mine. “Mo leanbh.”

As her arms come around my waist, I hold her in my arms, taking in the scent of home, of my childhood. Of all things good.

“Hey, Ma.”

“Come in, come in.” She pats my back before leaving my arms and moves to the side, making way for me to move past her.

“How are you, Ma?”

“Better now that you are here, leanbh. I missed you.”

I love it when she calls me “child.” For that one moment in time, I forget who I really am. Forget the fact that my life is not the fairy tale everyone else dreams about. That it never will be.

“I missed you too, Ma. So much. I’m so glad that I’m back now so I get to spend time with you.”

“Have you found anyone to spend your time with, yet?”

“Ma…” I groan.

This is the only thing that has me hesitating to come here every single time. Like every loving mom, mine wants me to find the one thing I will never have. By choice.

A happily ever after with a loving woman by my side.

Romantic love is not something that will be a part of my life. I make sure of that.

I have needs. Of course, I do. Doesn’t everyone?

The difference is, when the need strikes, I pay for attention, for human contact. For the touch of a woman.

I always make sure they are very well taken care of, make sure I give them a hell of a time. Make sure they don’t feel any less cherished just because I’m paying for it.

But at the end of the day, I go home alone, no strings, no complications, no attachments.

It’s clinical, impersonal. Safe. No room for feelings on either side.

“I worry, Kael. Because I won’t be around forever, and you need someone to take good care of you. Even Declan now has someone to share his life with.”

“I love you, Ma, and you are the only woman I need in my life.” I pat her hand.

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