Page 123 of Vengeful Guard

I can’t do that. Not to Paige, who doesn’t deserve to have that on her conscience, because I know she’s blaming herself for this even though I was the one kissing her, nor to Declan, whose hot blood now is preventing him from thinking, from feeling anything other than the red haze of rage.

If he’s forced to kill me, it’ll break something inside him too. Even if he never admits to it.

Paige holds herself around her waist. Her whole body is shaking violently. She’s seconds from falling apart. “Declan, please, let him go.”

Declan stares at her for a couple of seconds longer before turning at me. “Get the hell out of my father’s house."

“I’m sorry…” I don’t know what else to say.

I’m a monster. I’ve hurt everyone I care about. I didn’t listen when my brain told me to leave her alone. I didn’t protect Patrick because I was distracted by Paige, by how much I wanted her.

I’ve fucked everything up and lost the only family I have other than my ma.

Paige’s tears are streaming down her face. “Declan, no. You can’t do that.”

He puts his hand out as she tries to struggle past him.

“I can do whatever I want, and I want this sonofabitch out of my house.”

I want him to understand. “I’m sorry, Declan, I fucked up, but it’s not what you think. I l?—”

“I told you to keep that fucking mouth shut.” He looks at me, and that’s not my best friend in there. I have no idea who that is. “Get out before I kill you.”

I go to the gym door, standing there for a moment and looking at Paige, who’s still struggling to get past Declan and get to me.

I look at the woman I love. The only woman I wouldn’t mind having by my side forever. Then I look at my best friend as he holds her back from me. “It’s not what you think, Declan. I hav?—”

A push over my chest sends me stumbling back and falling against the stairs.

I have feelings for her. I love her. That’s what I’m going to say, but Declan keeps pushing me until I’m up the stairs and by the front door.

Lara and Bree are in the hallway, and Lara’s clearly drunk, staring at me like I’ve come out of nowhere.

“What's going on?” Her voice is slurred as she frowns at us.

I need to defend myself, need to make sure Paige will be okay because that’s all that matters now, that Paige is okay.

Except I have no idea if she’ll be because I won’t be there to make sure.

Declan opens the front door and pushes me out.

I go down, stumbling and probably rolling my ankle. I can’t focus on the pain, though.

“I’ll go.” I don’t want Paige to hurt anymore, so this might be for the better. For her.

Declan leans down, spitting in my face.

I don’t even bother to wipe it away.

“You’re done here, Sullivan. Get the fuck out of my father’s house.”

Pain deeper than the one from Declan’s blows grips my chest, and I have to force myself to stay standing.

It’s all over. I’ve lost everything and everyone. And it’s my fault.

I wipe Declan’s saliva from my face with the edge of my shirt, heading to my car to get out of the Burke Mansion as fast as I can given my injuries.

I’ll be damned if I’m going home, though.