Page 88 of Raven

His fingers are gripping my hair so tightly that he’s about to pull them out by the roots. And then he throws his arms in the air and does some cartoonish war cry, and I can’t hold back a smile.

This kid is crazy. And amazing. And so spontaneous, not yet tarnished by the adult attitudes and secrets. I wish more humans were like him.

We spend more time watching the whales, and then I think back on Maddy’s attack and pull my Swiss Army knife out of my pocket.

“Sharp?” Sonny observes it with interest.

No. And that’s exactly why I’m going to give it to him.

“I am going to teach you some moves,” I say.

Sonny immediately sinks back on his bent legs in a karate position, his face exaggeratedly focused.

I roll my eyes. “This is serious.”

He laughs, then relaxes. “Okay.”

“You need to carry this on you at all times, okay?”

He nods. “Okay.”

“There are all sorts of people around, and in case something happens, you need to be prepared.”

“Like help someone?”

“No, protect yourself from bad people.”

His lips round in a silent “oh.”

I teach him the jab, then the slash, the thrust, hoping that that lethal move will never be used.

I pick up a branch and give it to him for practice while I show him the moves with my knife. I hope he never gets a chance to use them. But you never know.

He goofs around at first, making fun of all the positions and hand movements I make him repeat after me. But the longer he practices, the more pointers I give him, his moves with the stick in his hand don’t seem so funny to him anymore.

When I finally explain to him the knife and let him take it, he looks at it with fascination.

“It’s a tool, Sonny. If you are ever in the wilderness, it can come very helpful. Indispensable, in fact.”

“In-dis—” he tries to repeat the word.

“Helpful, yes. But it can also be a weapon, however small.”

If only he knew that even that dull little knife can do a lot of damage if you know a thing or two about arteries and pressure points.

“One more thing,” I say.

He listens attentively. I think he is enjoying spending time with me more than actually learning. That’s all right. Someone once said learning should be fun. Sure. I hope that for all kids it’s fun, rather than having to use the knife to fend off your drunk foster father.

“If something is bothering you,” I say, “something you are afraid of but can’t say out loud, you use a safe word.”

We’ve had those in juvie for codes, on the street for alerts, among dealers in case there were snitches around. It was a surprise to watch a movie and see parents teaching safe words to their kids. In case they are “uncomfortable.” Again, we all have different childhoods.

“What kinda safe word?”

“Anything. ‘Snake,’” I suggest.

“So, if I see a snake, I say it?”

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